How To Tell Your Leadership Story
I enter the room filled with energy and excitement. I’m here to celebrate my friend Michelle’s achievement of having been nominated for the 40 under 40 award from her alma mater.
I spot Michelle instantly. She is dressed in a pristine all-white suit, her makeup impeccable and her short-cropped hair adding an air of chic professionalism to her look. She is commanding the table that she’s sitting at. As I approach, I can see that the other nominees and guests are buzzing around her like fireflies to a light bulb.
Without a doubt, she is owning the room.
I grab a drink, then settle in to the seat next to Michelle so I can offer my congratulations and we can catch up before the evening’s official festivities begin.
We chat about things - life, work, our families - for a little bit, while enjoying our hors d’oeuvres and cocktails. After a few moments, Michelle confides in me…
“I still have to write a statement about myself to be officially considered for the award. It’s due in a few weeks and I’ve just been putting it off.”
“Oh? Why’s that?” I ask.
“I just don’t know what to say about myself. I mean, I feel like I haven’t really done anything. Especially compared to these other people,” she says, motioning to the other nominees in the room.
“They’re all so much younger than me. And I’m a nontraditional student. I’m not on campus. I’m a mom. I’m working. Like. what’s so special about that?”
I try not to choke on my hors d’oeuvre.
“Girl!?” I exclaim. “Are you serious?”
***
Why High-Achieving Black Women Have A Hard Time telling their stories
By any standard, Michelle is a high-achieving black woman. She immigrated to the US from Zimbabwe on her own in her early 20s and has since made a successful career for herself in accounting. She was recently promoted to a senior executive position in her firm and she’s recently earned her MBA. All of this while also holding the titles of wife and mom.
Like many black women I know, Michelle has not just one, but many amazing and inspiring stories to tell about her life experiences and accomplishments. So why would she (and other high-achieving black women) have such a hard time putting something down on paper? A few contributing factors could be:
Humility as more feminine or culturally appropriate
Women of all cultures are often conditioned to downplay their achievements and not take up too much ‘air time’ with their stories or anecdotes.
Normalization of struggle, hustle, grind culture
Balancing work, parenting, school and marriage may seem like nothing special when everyone else around you is balancing at least that much if not more and making it look easy.
Thinking of achievements as story
A list of awards and achievements does not a story make. Rattling off a series of accomplishments is more suitable for a resume not a leadership story or personal bio. And chances are we’re more used to writing our resume than writing our story.
Because everybody else has a hard time with it too
I don’t think high-achieving black women have any more of a difficult time telling compelling leadership stories than anyone else, The fact is, most of us haven’t learned or practiced the storytelling skills needed to tell great leadership stories. So when we’re asked to do it, we freeze, panic or procrastinate until the last minute.
How to Tell Your Leadership Story
Focus on Your Vision
Decide what aspect of your leadership story you want to focus on. Is it your philosophy as a leader? Is it a specific obstacle or challenge you’ve overcome? Is it a biographical account of your leadership history? Once you’ve narrowed your focus, you’re ready to start constructing your story.
Understand Your Audience
Who are you telling your story to and what will they get out of it? The most important thing to remember when telling your leadership story is that you’re telling it for someone else’s benefit. The more you know about them, the better you’ll understand what they care about and how to bring that out in your story.
Define Your Main Character
As the main character of your leadership story, it is essential that you have a deep and accurate understanding of your own values, strengths and your challenges. These are the attributes you want to highlight in your story. They will help you earn your audience’s trust and build a meaningful connection with them.
The 4-Part Change Story
The most inspirational and memorable stories are usually stories that involve a significant transformation or change. To quickly structure an impactful leadership story, use the following 4-part change story format:
Start - “When I started out…”
Key story points: What were you like before the change? What did you not yet have, know or understand?
Decide - “I had to make a change…”
Key story points: What forced you to take action so you could have, know or understand more?
Learn - “That taught me a valuable lesson…”
Key story points: What mistakes did you make, what did you lose or learn?
Transform - “Which made me who I am today.”
Key story points: How were you changed? How does that change still influence you today?
That evening, I shared the tips above with Michelle, and let her know that the non-traditional parts of her story were what made her story so impressive. Her unique story of growth and change ended up being a perfect fit for the 4-part change story structure.
