how to get that game show buzz

The mission: attend a live taping of the game show The Family Feud (hosted by Steve Harvey) at the Atlanta Civic Center. A good friend of mine had scored tickets to the show and had invited me along for the ride.

I call it a mission because, of course, it couldn't be as simple as just showing up and walking into the studio. We arrived 5 minutes earlier than suggested, only to be told that we were too late for the 1st taping, and we'd have to come back about 2 hours later.

Ah well, what do wise women do when hit with unexpected delays? We brunch. Hard.

For the next couple of hours, my friend and I shared a booth at Home Grown, talking and reminiscing, sharing and confessing. I think I can safely speak for her when I say that in those 2 hours we both learned more about each other than we've learned in years.

With our bellies filled and our friendship expanded, we returned to the Civic Center, waited some more, and were finally, finally let into the studio.

Just as we were getting ready to file into the next to last row, the plump, older lady in front of us asked one of the production crew, "Can we take two of those seats on the front row?" "Sure," was the reply. One glance between me and my friend was all it took, and we immediately followed suit. As the plump lady and I claimed our seats next to each other, we both blurted out, "Never hurts to ask!" then cracked up at our synchronized timing. Out of nowhere, she hugged me like we'd known each other for ages.

Before the show began, the 'audience wrangler' trained us on our responsibilities. We learned when and how to clap and smile, when to cheer, and when to go "Awww...". Important stuff, you know. To boost our energy from a long day of waiting, he led us all in a couple of rousing dance-alongs. One to The Isley Brothers' "Shout", and another to the Jackson's "Blame it on the Boogie".

Soon, the main event started. Steve 'Longcoat' Harvey appeared onstage. The feuding families followed, and the cameras started rolling. Like dutiful participants, we clapped and smiled, and smiled and cheered, and 'awwwed' and clapped some more. Everything the contestants said or did required us to emote. It was hard work.

At the end of the all-day game show adventure, I returned home with a pleasant, good-feeling buzz that lasted the rest of the day.

So what did we learn from all this, kids?

I don't know about you, but a good-feeling buzz that lasts the whole livelong day isn't something that's always easy to come by (at least not legally) so when I do get one, I like to take a minute to figure out how I got it, in case I should ever need it again.

We asked 100 people what they'd do to get that good-feeling game show buzz *. Survey says:

Open Up to an Old Friend

I think we take old friends for granted sometimes. We think that since we've known each other since way back, we know everything there is to know about our friend, and they know everything there is to know about us. But there are stories that we haven't shared. Little bits of ourselves that we've never opened up about. Sharing those things gives us a chance to strengthen the bonds of our friendships. Even if the only feel-good you get is a twinge of happiness from talking about something different than you normally do, it's worth it.

Always Ask for What You Want

Fortune favors the bold. A closed mouth don't get fed. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. All these old adages are saying the same thing. If there is something you want or need, not only is there no shame in asking for it, it's often the quickest way to get it. The worst possible thing that can happen is hearing the word "no". The best possible thing that could happen is front row seats.

Hug a Stranger

Look. I am not a hugger. Hugs are often awkward moments for me that involve over-thinking the position of my arms, the distance from the other person, the angle of my head... it's too much, really. Still, I appreciate a really good hug. And there's nothing better than a hug from a genuinely friendly person, even if they're someone you just met. And especially if they're a plump auntie figure.

Be Silly in Public

When's the last time you seat-danced to 50s and 80s rock and pop... in public? Yeah. Me neither. Public displays of silliness are the perfect way to whip up some instant feelgood. But the opportunity to be silly with a large group of other people doesn't come along very often. When you get the chance, take advantage of it. Join the wave at the baseball game, do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself around, robot your way down the Soul Train line. Of course you could always be that guy standing off to the side because he's just too sexy or too cool to be silly. Don't be.

Clap and Cheer for the Little Things

It's really hard to feel bad when you've got a big ole cheesy grin plastered on your face and you're clapping like your life depended on it. Something about that eventually takes over you and makes you all happy and junk. Now I'm not suggesting you go around being a 1-person studio audience all day. But try being a little more liberal with the high-fives and the 'good jobs' for a bit, and see if that doesn't make you and the people around you feel a little bit better.

cheers,

k

*We didn't really. I made them up myself.

balm for a tuesday - a poem from rumi

I'm away on a working vacation this week, Dear Reader. But something told me that this poem by Rumi might be something you needed to hear as much as I did today.

If not, tuck it somewhere safe for a rainy day. ;-)

come on sweetheart let's adore one another before there is no more of you and me

a mirror tells the truth look at your grim face brighten up and cast away your bitter smile

a generous friend gives life for a friend let's rise above this animalistic behavior and be kind to one another

spite darkens friendships why not cast away malice from our heart

once you think of me dead and gone you will make up with me you will miss me you may even adore me

why be a worshiper of the dead think of me as a goner come and make up now

since you will come and throw kisses at my tombstone later why not give them to me now this is me that same person

i may talk too much but my heart is silence what else can i do i am condemned to live this life

~rumi

cheers,

k

i'm listening to: jill scott - the light of the sun

Buy on | Buy on Amazon | Listen (Grooveshark)

Album: The Light of the Sun (Deluxe)

Sounds Like: The official 2011 soundtrack of the 'grown ass woman'

Makes Me Wanna: laugh, dance, sing, cry, and stage a one woman lip-synch show in my living room

Filed Under: r&b, new / progressive soul

Favorite Tracks: Le Boom Vent Suite, So Gone (What My Mind Says), Shame

I am currently obsessed with this CD. Once again, our girl Jill has found a way to put words to the silent songs I sing about love, life, relationships and black womanhood. How does she do it? I don't know. Don't really care. Just glad that she does, and glad that she does it so well. I think you will be to. Cop. Now.

cheers,

k

wine dinners: a great way to find good wine

When it comes to finding a wine you like, you’ve really only got a few methods to choose from.

• you can take a recommendation from a friend or an expert,
• you can take a wild guess based on the prettiness of the label and / or the floweriness  of the wording on the bottle as you stand scratching your head in the aisle
• or… you can taste it.

Of those three methods, only tasting is foolproof. Friends and experts may have different palates, and we all know better than to judge a wine by its cover, don’t we? And even once you’ve chosen a wine, there’s the work of figuring out what wine goes with what.

Enter, the wine dinner. This growing trend helps experienced and budding wine connoisseurs make sense of it all. If you haven’t had the chance to go to a wine dinner yet, lemme ‘splain what you’re missing out on.

What is a Wine Dinner?

A wine dinner is multi-course meal, typically hosted by a restaurant, a winery or a combination of the two. Each course of the meal comes along with a wine that has been selected to complement the dish being served.

What’s So Great about Wine Dinners?

You get to relax – unlike wine tastings and tours where you’re sort of shuffled along between tastings, at a wine dinner you’re comfortably seated. You can even kick your shoes off if you want, I won’t tell.

You get a serious wine education – during the wine dinner, either the restaurant’s sommelier or a representative from the vineyard will provide notes on the wines you taste that you simply won’t get anywhere else. Plus, if you happen to attend a wine dinner with other ‘cork dorks’, you’ll learn even more from the conversation.

You get to eat some really great food – most of the restaurants hosting wine dinners are pretty top-notch. Often, they’ll feature special dishes for the wine dinner that aren’t on their regular menu.

You save money – during a wine dinner you’ll typically taste a minimum of four dishes, along with equal servings of wine for a much lower price than you would if you were to purchase them all at regular price.

Here’s a quick roundup of three wine dinners in Atlanta that I’ve attended recently, and how I fared at each.

Mirassou Wine Dinner

As part of a multi-city promotional tour coinciding with the 156^th anniversary of Mirassou Winery, California winemaker David Mirassou hosted a series of wine dinners for local food and beverage writers, wine educators, and bloggers across the country. The Atlanta stop of the tour featured a 6-course tasting menu prepared by Chef Kevin Gillespie of Woodfire Grill, and yours truly was invited to attend.  Each course was a perfect mouthful of local, seasonal ingredients that Chef Gillespie crafted to complement the accompanying wine. Throughout the meal, David entertained us with stories from his family’s winemaking past, and explained the unique characteristics of each wine we tasted. Needless to say, the food was amazing. The wines – a pleasant surprise.

My favorite wine of the evening: Mirassou Cabernet Sauvignon – I’m not usually a big fan of Cabs, most tend to be too tannic for my tastes. But Mirassou’s Cabernet was much more drinkable, while still retaining the tannic profile. I dubbed it, ‘the softer side of Cab’. Retails for around $10

Mother’s Day Brunch at Frogtown Cellars

Craving the experience of Napa, but lacking the time or the funds? Georgia’s wine country is a suitable alternative for us Atlantans. This past Mother’s Day I decided to treat Mom and myself to our first visit to a Georgia winery. We chose Frogtown Cellars in Dahlonega, and were treated to a delicious 4-course brunch with wine pairings in a truly beautiful setting.

My favorite wine of the day: Frogtown First Convergence – East-meets-West blend of Cabernet and Malbec grapes from Russian River (66%) and Cabernet Franc grapes from Frogtown vineyard (34%). Retails for $27.99

The Generous Pour Wine Event at The Capital Grille

Did you know that there are only 173 Master Sommeliers in the entire world? So it’s a real treat when one of these esteemed wine experts hand picks 9 of his personal favorites and invites you to taste them. That’s exactly what went down this week at The Capital Grille in Buckhead. The restaurant invited several local food writers to a special preview of their summer wine event, The Generous Pour. George Miliotes, Master Sommelier and resident wine expert at The Capital Grille, joined via telecast to explain the 9 wines he chose for the event, and then answered our questions via live Twitter feed. After George’s introduction, we sampled each of the wines along with complementary dishes prepared by Chef Brad Weiderman. The unparalleled white-glove level of service at the Capital Grille made this one a real treat.

My favorites of the evening:

Tarima Hill Monastrell, 2009 – A Spanish varietal that’s not available anywhere else in the US for the next couple of months. It’s a medium-bodied red that I can only describe as ‘seductive’.

Chateau St. Jean, Belle Terre, 2008 – arguably the best Chardonnay I’ve ever tasted. Described as ‘a rich, creamy wine… with toasted almond and vanilla oak’. From the Russian River region of California. $25.

The Capital Grille’s Generous Pour Wine Event continues through September 4, and is only $25 for ample servings of all 9 wines with dinner. Do this!

To see questions and answers from The Generous Pour preview event, search for #tcgpour11 on Twitter.

Want to get personalized wine recommendations from a Master Sommelier? Follow George Miliotes (@TheWineExpert) on Twitter.

But hey – don’t just settle for his (or my) recommendations. Go out and taste for yourself.

cheers,

k

music for independence day – a collection of freedom songs

Is it just me? Even though Independence Day has come and gone, I can still sense a distinct feel of freedom in the air. Several of my acquaintances are making bold choices, breaking with normal patterns of behavior, becoming a little more daring, a little more liberated, and a lot more in touch with the little voice inside that often urges us: Just do it. Just be you. Tell your story. Dance your dance. Sing your song. For this past 4th of July holiday, I compiled a personal collection of songs about freedom and independence that I thought captured the spirit of the holiday while not necessarily being all about American patriotism. I decided to call it the ‘End Dependence Day’ playlist.

I hope you enjoy this selection of 20+ tracks that convey the importance of freedom of mind, body, heart, and spirit. More than that, I hope that in some small way, this playlist might inspire you to: make a fool of yourself for a good cause, to tell fear to go take a long walk off a short bridge, or to flip yourself the finger in the mirror – partly to symbolize defiance of your own unrealistic expectations, but mostly to see how badass you look doing it.

End Dependence Day Playlist on Grooveshark   End Dependence Day Playlist on iTunes cheers, k

Photo: Welcome to Independence by taberandrew

dj kai alce remembers house in the park

For the past five years, Labor Day weekend in Atlanta has signaled the arrival of House in the Park, a family-friendly outdoor music festival for lovers of house, afrobeat, and soulful dance music. Though it continues to swell each year, House in the Park is still a largely under-the-radar event in Atlanta, mainly because it caters to such a niche audience. Loyal fans of Atlanta DJs Ramon Rawsoul, DJ Kemit, Salah Ananse, and Kai Alce – the fantastic foursome behind House in the Park – have been there since the beginning. House in the Park 2010 promises to be the largest yet, as word about the good vibes and sounds the event unfailingly delivers continues to spread beyond Atlanta’s close-knit house music family.

I sat down with DJ Kai Alce to get some insight on how House in the Park has evolved since its genesis, and what’s on tap for House in the Park 2010.

---

So, how long have you been a DJ? How did you get your start? Aw, man. I bought my first turntables in ‘83. But I’ve been DJing professionally since ‘92. I’ve always been into music, though. I listen to a little bit of everything. My parents were Haitian, so I grew up listening to soca and all that. Growing up in New York at that time, it was like during the creation of hip hop and disco. My Dad was a jazz aficionado, and he was really into audio hi-fi equipment. So I guess that’s where I got an affinity for both the music and the equipment.

Was this something you always knew you wanted to do? Not really. It just sort of evolved that way. The first time I DJed for a party, it didn’t go well.

I used to work at this place called The Music Institute. I worked there at 16 years old - Chez Damier got me in there. It was like the Detroit version of Paradise Garage. Then I moved to Atlanta to go to school at Morehouse. I started getting gigs and started making money, and thought, “hey, I could do this professionally.”

Where did the idea for House in the Park originate? Ramon Rawsoul asked me about it. At that time I was working at Satellite – a record store in Little Five Points. We might have already been doing The Gathering then. The Gathering is a monthly house music event featuring DJs Kai Alce and Ramon Rawsoul. The duo has been hosting The Gathering for over 5 years. The first House in the Park was at Candler Park in 2005. There was another group called Earthtone that used to do an event out at Piedmont. They used to do it real renegade style, though. You know, they’d just go out there and they may or may not have a permit. I told Ramon that (getting a permit) was gonna be an issue. But we went through the process and got what we needed. The first year, we had about 200-300 people, just from the crowds that supported each of us.

What Atlanta DJs were involved that first year? It was me, Ramon, Kemit, and Salah. What was funny was… I think I had to DJ or promote the night before – anyway, I was out late. And you know there’s always that riff of who goes on first and who goes on last. I remember I was like, I’ll go on early. And I got there, did my set… and fell asleep. So I said - I’m definitely not doing that again.

How has House in the Park changed from that first year? Well after the first year, we moved to Perkerson Park because of better amenities. Candler was very DIY all the way. We had to bring in port-o-potties, and everything. That first year, the crowd at House in the Park was mostly people who knew us from the nighttime sets. The second year House in the Park became more family oriented. And it just took off from there.

Did you ever think House in the Park would become as big, or continue for as long as it has? No. Never. ‘Cause it’s getting bigger every year. More people, more problems. The more people you get, the more things they (city officials) ask you to have. Like ambulances, extra cops, then after a certain number of cops you have to get a police sergeant. Now we’re at the point where we’re gonna have to start getting sponsors. Whole Foods has been on as a sponsor since the first or second House in the Park - they donate water. The neighborhood is one of the sponsors. Others are people who have known us, who are blessed enough to hook us up.

What is it about House in the Park that you think makes it so popular? The good feeling and the music. The music aids in people letting go and letting down their guard. So far in the five years since House in the Park has been going, we’ve had no fights, no arguments. We’ve had a couple of lost kids, but they get found before the end of the evening. People have said that when they leave House in the Park, the positive energy they leave with rides for a while. Even some of the kids, they don’t see some of those other kids until that event. So they look forward to playing together while their parents enjoy themselves. I had one guy come up to me -his daughter is in her teenage years – and tell me that she asked her dad to dance. He says that’s the first time she ever asked him to dance with her. At House in the Park, you can see anybody from age 3 to 55. My dad’ll be here this year. He may have been here at least 4 times now. I had my whole family come out one time.

What can people expect this year? Are there any other DJs are on deck? The House in the Park lineup will stay the same until it ends. I don’t think anybody knows our town better than we do. We try to keep it amongst us here. We may have a guest DJ that shows up some years.

How many attendees do you average or are you expecting for House in the Park this year? Well, last year it was about 3,000. So we definitely hope to meet that.

Where can people get more info about House in the Park, purchase House in the Park gear, make donations, etc? They can go to www.houseinthepark.net. People can buy CDS and House in the Park T-shirts at the event. That’s what helps us pay for the event. So be sure to bring cash with you. CDs are $5-10. Tees are $10-12.

What other projects are you working on? Where besides House in the Park can people see or hear you? Well, I have my record label – NDATL. It stands for New York, Detroit, Atlanta – three places where I’ve lived. We just released a new single called “I Got Life” by Kemetic Just. Kemetic Just is DJ Kemit and Justin Chapman, but this track is just Justin Chapman with Terrance Downs. That just got released this summer. It’s doing well in the charts here and overseas. You may even see him perform this year at House in the Park. You might also see a performance by a girl named Cayenne. She has a song called ‘Someone’, which I produced along with Phil Asher. It hit # 1 on the house charts. I’m also continuing a monthly here at The Sound Table. It’s called Distinctive. It’s usually every third Saturday, this month it will be on the fourth Saturday. We’re having Omar S as a guest in October.

And people can check out my site www.kaialce.com. That will let you know about the upcoming events and projects.

House in the Park 2009 photos courtesy of John Crooms Photography.

House in the Park 2010 Sunday, September 5 ; noon – 8pm Perkerson Park - Pavilion Area 770 Deckner Ave. SW; Atlanta, GA 30310 Free. Open to the public.

how to do atlanta - the sound table

Remember that trip you took to New York back in your mid-twenties? You were feeling young, sexy and sure of yourself. The friends that you came to visit in the bustling city introduced you to their group of friends, and you all met up for an evening out at a cool, but unpretentious lounge in lower Manhattan. The DJ there played an intriguing and unintrusive medley of urban underground funkiness, the drinks from the bar were prepared just right, the food: filling, flavorful, and just light enough to keep you feeling flirty. At one point in the evening, you thought to yourself, “why isn’t there a place like this back home in Atlanta?”If you’ve never had that particular New York experience, it’s ok. You can still create a similar memory right here in the A, at The Sound Table.

Open for only a few months now, The Sound Table is the second restaurant / lounge venture for Jeff Myers, who also owns the equally hip resto-lounge Top Flr. All the elements that succeed at Top Flr – small plates, expertly prepared classic cocktails with modern updates, laid-back but attentive service staff, and mood-altering décor – are in place at The Sound Table. The decor is perhaps the most marked difference between the two. Whereas Top Flr is more vampire-chic with its monochrome baroque appointments, The Sound Table is more urban lodge with simple clean lines, exposed ductwork, expansive ceilings and warm wood accents. As a result, the overall feel of The Sound Table is more casual, but you can still put on your cute go-out gear if you want.

The Sound Table is certainly a welcome addition to the Edgewood corridor. The other bar / restaurant establishments on the strip either tend toward a slightly grungier, more hipster vibe (a la Noni’s Bar and Deli, and Edgewood Corner Tavern) or can be off-puttingly upscale (a la Café Circa) for a casual evening out. The Sound Table fills that in-between space that the now-closed Harlem Bar used to, but thankfully, there’s more square footage to enjoy yourself in. The only not-so-stellar thing is the parking situation. The adjacent lot is super tiny, and street parking can be a bit of a challenge (and a trifle scary, given the neighborhood night walkers) on busy weekend evenings.

That minor nuisance aside, The Sound Table has quickly become one of my favorite places to hang, and is tops on the list of places I recommend to people who are looking for a true taste of Atlanta’s nightlife and dining scene.

Here’s a quick sampling of some of the standouts from Executive Chef Shane Devereux’s menu:

• Chinese Pork Ribs – My absolute favorite on the menu. Tender, fall of the bone ribs with an Asian glaze of soy and red chili.
• Vietnamese Pho – not an authentic pho, but a respectable approximation of the Vietnamese noodle soup. The Sound Table’s version comes with tender bits of shredded oxtail and a flavorful broth with all the expected accompaniments – hoisin, fresh cilantro and bean sprouts, lime, and pepper sauce. Comforting and refreshing even in the dead of summer.
• Cece Frito – A delightful appetizer of fried chickpeas and capers dusted in a curry salt. Caution: these things are highly addictive!
• Spatchcock Grilled Chicken – A testament to the fact that simple cooking can be the most exciting. Cuts of bone-in chicken cooked over open flame with simple flavoring of lemon juice, salt, pepper, and a hint of herbs. The first time I tried this, I enjoyed it so much that I was compelled to replicate the dish at home (recipe soon come!).
• Chocolate Truffle w/ Salted Caramel Ice Cream – I usually don’t ever go for dessert. But this one is totally worth the extra calories. A chocolate molten cake that’s light yet decadent with a perfectly contrasting dollop of salted caramel ice cream. I was beside myself.

Food prices are slightly higher than what you’d find at a traditional bar / lounge. But they’re in line with the quality of the dishes and overall experience.

The cocktails at The Sound Table almost deserve a review unto themselves. Classic adult beverages are reincarnated with names like “Summer Home in Milledgeville” – featuring St. Germain elderflower, absinthe, and green chartreuse – “Small Axe” with tamarind-infused rum and grapefruit Ting, and my personal favorite, “The Gemini Handshake” – a mix of cachaca, lime, and locally made pineapple-habanero jelly. The bartenders are clearly master-level mixologists, and the showmanship that comes along with the drink making is well worth the price of admission.

Oh, and let's not forget the most important element – the music. The Sound Table is a joint venture among 3 DJ-preneurs (yeah, I said it) whose aural palates are as global as the joint’s menu. Resident and guest DJs drop in often and spin an eclectic mishmash of future funk, electro soul, trip hop, dubstep and everything in between.

New York – eat your heart out.

cheers, k

Spatchcock Chicken photo courtesy of Leon Dale

Sound Table Cocktails photo courtesy of Carlos Bell

The Sound Table 483 Edgewood Avenue (at Boulevard) Atlanta, GA 30312 www.thesoundtable.com

how to lose like a winner

A couple of weekends ago, I got invited to watch a friend’s daughter compete in the National American Miss pageant. I’ve known this young lady since she was a toddler, and over the years I’ve watched her blossom into an awesome little woman. She’s bright, energetic, savvy, and beautiful to boot. You know, one of those kids that makes you feel confident about what the next generation will be able to do with their infinite potential. So I was thrilled to join her parents in the audience to hoot and holler like a madwoman whenever she appeared on the stage.

That night, we watched all the contestants do their opening numbers and have their individual moments in the spotlight. We also watched watch as girl after girl got picked for various and sundry titles – Miss Congeniality, Most Likely to be a Top Model, Most Likely to End Up as a Trophy Wife and Get One Helluva Divorce Settlement when the Dog of a Husband Gets Caught Cheating (or something like that). Even with all her charm, poise, and intelligence, our girl didn’t get a single trophy or accolade, and she didn’t even get to move on to the next round of competition. Needless to say, we were crushed. She, of course, was even more crushed. After she’d changed back into her street clothes, she joined us to head to the car. She held up pretty well for a few moments, then the tears came. “It isn’t fair,” she cried. “They weren’t as good as me!” she protested. And we agreed, clucking over her and consoling her like dutiful supporters. There wasn’t any use in trying to rationalize the outcome of the pageant to her. Even if there had been a rational explanation, it likely wouldn’t have made a dent on her emotional state. So, I thought that the words her mother offered her were the best that could be said at that moment. She simply told her daughter, “Baby, it wasn’t your time.”

No doubt, losing sucks. Hard. Especially when it’s something you’ve worked hard to get, or something you feel like you’re naturally more qualified to have. So when you don’t land that job, or you get passed over by that girl or guy you had your heart set on, or someone else snags that grand opportunity that you know was meant for you, it makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs, “It’s not fair! They weren’t as good as me!” It’s irritating as hell to see the lesser-qualified get your moment in the spotlight, with the crowd cheering and the fair maiden planting a wreath of laurel leaves on their unworthy head. When it happens more than once, you may stop screaming outwardly and start whispering inwardly to yourself: “Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I don’t know what I’m doing. Maybe no one will ever want me.” Even the most confident and self-assured person has their moments of uncertainty when met with a consistent stream of losses.

I thought back to one of the girls in the pageant who had advanced to the next round that evening. It was her fifth year in the competition, and she’d never made it beyond the first round before. Yet she kept showing up every year. Kept donning the glitzy gown, kept flashing the perfect camera-ready smile, and kept being sent home with nothing to show for her efforts. I wondered what she must have felt like after two years of not winning. After year three? I wondered how she even mustered up the energy and optimism it took to come back for one more chance at winning, though she was a repeat loser. By the colloquial definition, this girl was insane. She kept doing the same thing and expecting a different result. But eventually, after five long years, she did get a different result.

So how exactly do you distinguish the insane person from the winner-to-be?

"Sometimes losing is a wake-up call in disguise, a universal conspiracy that’s letting you know that you’re chasing the wrong dream..."

Winners recognize that there may not be any logic to the fact that they lost, but they take the loss as an opportunity for assessment.  A time to prepare themselves for the win that will inevitably come. After a loss, winners ask themselves the following questions:

Am I losing because I’m playing the wrong game?

If you’re going after something that doesn’t align with your purpose or your true values, why would you want to win? Sometimes losing is a wake-up call in disguise, a universal conspiracy that’s letting you know that you’re chasing the wrong dream, and you need to set your eyes on a different, more fitting prize. If you feel certain that what you’re after does align with your purpose, it’s much easier to deal with temporary losses on the way to your goal.

Am I losing because I'm not yet prepared to win?

and the winner is

If you were to get that job, land that cutie pie, or be granted that opportunity, are you currently prepared to make the most of it? Do you have the skills to maintain the thing you’ve won after you’ve won it? You’ve heard the stories of lottery winners who are penniless only a few years after their big win, because they had no money management skills. It’s almost impossible to believe, but it happens all the time – and not just with the lottery. Winners take time after a loss to continue to hone their skills. They visualize what they’ll need to do after the win to make sure they’re ready to perform when it happens. Winners know that a gift given to the ill-prepared can easily become a curse.

Am I losing because it just isn’t my time?

So you know for sure that you’re after the right thing. And you know that you’re well-prepared to maintain that thing after you’ve won it. So what gives? Why do you keep losing? Well baby, maybe it just isn’t your time. While you’re fuming about how unfair it all is, maybe there’s someone else out there who had just as much right to the ‘big win’ as you did. They may have waited longer or worked harder, or maybe it was simply ‘their time’. Maybe you’re like that year-five winner, and you’ll have to lose many times before you win. Just remember to re-assess, re-equip, and reapply yourself… even if everyone else thinks you’re insane.

As it turns out, our girl made it through the pageant ordeal without too much emotional or ego damage. After a post-pageant dinner out, she was mostly back to normal. The following week, she got an unexpected phone call. It came from a talent scout who’d seen her at the pageant and wanted to know if she was available for other opportunities.

So let that be a lesson to all you losers out there. The next time you lose, go ahead and have a good cry, check to make sure the makeup is still ok, then treat yourself to something tasty.

And know this… your day is coming. Maybe even sooner than you think.

cheers,

k

photo: total loser by bamzin

photo: ...and the winner is by notsogoodphotography

easy gourmet cooking: stuffed pattypan squash

Always be careful what you ask for. When I recently relocated to Westview, I hoped that I'd be able to find a nearby community garden or small-scale farmer to get fresh produce from. I had no idea my request would be so thoroughly fulfilled.

The beau's job hosts a weekly farmer's market throughout summer, where local farmers and community gardeners bring out their wares to sell. Since he helps out with setting up their stands and assisting customers carry their purchases to their cars, the grateful farmers give him some of their excess to take home. Which means that, at least once a week, I get a nice delivery of local fruits and veggies right into my kitchen.

This also means that I am positively swimming in summer produce. Melons, tomatoes, okra, peaches, nectarines, corn, red potatoes, onions, and cabbages come in the door faster than I can think of ways to uniquely prepare them. So I've had to scramble around the interwebs in search of recipes to provide additional inspiration. One of the bumper crops that I've enjoyed finding new ways to prepare is squash. In addition to the standard crookneck yellow squash and zucchini that I'm used to working with, I got a delivery of pattypan squash. I'd never laid eyes on one in real life before, and was so struck with the elegant scalloped edges and blanched-white skin that I had to find a recipe worthy of the ingredient.

Fresh local ingredients call for a fresh local recipe, so I was pleased when I saw a recipe for Farm-Stand Stuffed Zucchini Squash over at Running With Tweezers. A couple of quick modifications based on the ingredients I had on hand, and... voila! A recipe that was fit for a pattypan squash.

Stuffed PattyPan Squash

Ingredients:

• 2 pattypan squash
• 1-2 fresh Italian sausage (I use turkey sausage, with removable casing)
• 1 cup couscous (I prefer whole wheat)
• 1/2 bell pepper (red, green, or yellow)
• 1 small onion (red or white)
• grated Parmesan cheese
• olive oil
• salt and pepper
• minced garlic
• fresh or dried herbs: thyme, rosemary, marjoram
• 1-3/4 cup chicken broth or bouillon

Cooking Instructions:

Preparing the Squash: Preheat oven to 375. With a small knife (serrated works best), cut a circle around the top of the squash. As you cut, angle your knife diagonally from the outer edge of the squash towards the center. Remove the top of the squash and set aside - this will serve as your lid. Hollow out the insides of the squash with a small spoon, being careful not to pierce through the squash. Set the removed squash aside. Drizzle the inside of the squash and the bottoms of the lids with a little olive oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper, then set on a baking sheet or pan in the oven. Cook for 15-20 minutes, then set aside to cool.

For the Couscous: In a small pot, bring the chicken broth to a boil. Stir in the couscous, cover, and remove from heat. Let stand 5 minutes, until all water is absorbed. Fluff with a fork and drizzle with a little bit of olive oil.

For the Sausage and Veggies: Chop the bell pepper and onion and add to the squash flesh you removed earlier. Add a little olive oil to a large skillet and heat on medium-high. Remove the sausage from casing, and add in small pieces to the heated skillet. Cook and crumble the sausage until brown. Add the garlic, onion, and pepper to the skillet and sautee for 4-5 minutes, or until onion is slightly translucent. Add herbs to taste, then add squash and cook for another 2-3 minutes.  Salt and pepper to taste. Add couscous to skillet and stir to combine with other ingredients. Sprinkle parmesan cheese over everything and stir to incorporate.

Stuff each squash with the couscous mixture, and sprinkle a little more Parm on top. Place the stuffed squash back in the oven for 10-15 minutes. Serve immediately.

cheers,

k

how to overcome stagnation

Making your own money – and by that I mean, not from a typical 9 to 5, but from something you created and you own – is like a drug. Once you’ve had even the littlest taste of it, you’ll always want it again. Be careful what you wish for when you wish to be your own boss. You might get hooked for life.

I say be careful because it’s not an easy path. It’s a #@$&! scary ride. But… it’s a ride that changes you for the better. You learn to become bigger than yourself, if that makes any sense. You learn to use your strengths and your weaknesses to your advantage. As master of your own work domain, you have to know yourself well and still continually try to outsmart yourself, to outdo your last move. That’s innovation. That’s growth. That’s ultimately sustainability. Because if you’re always thinking about where you’ll get your next entrepreneurial fix; if you’re constantly asking yourself, ‘what next?’ you’ll have an answer when someone else comes asking the same thing of you.

In business, that ‘someone else’ is your customers, your employees, your partners, your teachers and mentors. When those people come asking, ‘what next?’ you’d better have an answer. If you don’t, you’ll be cheating yourself and them. Or worse…. you’ll become stagnant, and ultimately irrelevant.

“What next?” is a question that I’ve been continually pondering for the last few months. I’ve been an independent freelancer for almost a year now, and have had plenty of ups and downs, direction changes and lots of opportunities to test different approaches in marketing, selling and delivering my services. I finally feel like I’ve reached a level of comfort with the ambiguity and the sometimes unpredictable nature of self-employment, and I’m preparing to kick off some new projects and partnerships that will continue to propel me down paths I want to travel. I recently shared one of those projects with you, and I’m looking forward to sharing the others as they progress.

In the meantime, I’d like to pass along some highlights from a blog post entitled ‘How to Overcome Stagnation’ by Dean L. Forbes. Work - whether done for yourself or for someone else – is one of those areas that it’s extremely easy to become stagnant in, and Dean has provided some excellent insights for recognizing the symptoms of stagnation and developing strategies to deal with it.

Symptoms of Stagnation:

• Lack of focus – feeling scattered and unsure of the goals you’ve set
• Indecisiveness – unable to make a decision because every option is too risky and/or impossible
• Doubt – feelings of self-doubt, lack of confidence in your skills and abilities
• Hopelessness – inability to see the silver lining, the upside, the light at the end of the tunnel
• Cynicism –feeling like the cards are stacked against you, that everyone (especially the ones who ‘don’t deserve it’) is getting ahead except you
• Depression – lack of energy or will to do anything positive, productive, or progressive

Like any emotional or mental state, stagnation is temporary. The amount of time spent in a state of stagnation depends on your willingness to take the right actions to move beyond that state. Forbes recommends the following right actions to overcome stagnation.

5 Ways to Overcome Stagnation:

1. Re-evaluate your core values – Make sure that the principles you wish to live by – your own personal definition of ‘the good life’ – are intact. Make a list of the things in life that really matter to you and be sure that your daily activities and decisions reflect that.
2. Redefine your mission – What is your purpose? What are you here for? What do you feel that you were uniquely created to do? You may already have an idea in your head. Take some time to reflect on and re-envision this mission.
3. Change your mission – Does the mission you previously envisioned for yourself no longer make sense? Maybe it’s time to find a new mission.
4. Change your circle – If you’re on a journey to somewhere, your travelling companions can make or break the trip for you. It can be difficult to change or sever associations, but if you find out that people in your circle aren’t interested in going where you’re headed, you’ll all be much better off going your separate ways.
5. Take a different route – There’s more than one way to reach a given goal. Maybe the path you’re on isn’t the one that’s going to work for you. There’s no shame in changing directions or scrapping what you thought was a well-planned route. What matters is that you keep moving towards your ultimate destination.

If you’re looking for more help dealing with stagnation, here are a few of my favorite stagnation-killing books:

photo by: Crystl

cheers, k

atlanta's national black arts festival kicks off next week

Only a few more days before the 22nd National Black Arts Festival begins! Well, technically, the festival never ends since it's a year-round celebration of arts and culture across the African Diaspora. But from July 14-18, we'll be treated to a concentrated dose of all that the NBAF has to offer.

The NBAF is always a highlight of Atlanta's summer festival season with a myriad of music and theater performances, workshops, films, and educational programs that allow Atlantans and visitors from all around the globe to see, taste, hear, and feel the work of artists and artisans that have shaped and continue to influence Black culture.

Centennial Olympic Park will once again be the summer festival's home base of operations, with Main Stage performances by Afro-Brazilian percussion group, Olodum,  Atlanta's own DJ Kemit, and Roy Ayers with the Common Ground Collective. Several other events - film screenings, dance and theater performances, visual arts displays, and more - will occur at locations around the city. Many of the events are absolutely free to the public, while others offer some very affordable options if you're looking for things to do on a sweltering Atlanta weekend.

Visit the NBAF's website for a complete schedule of events or download this handy Excel schedule of 2010 NBAF events that you can sort by date, event type, and price (alternate link for those without Excel).

see you at the festival,

k

foodie travel: highlights of savannah’s food scene

Ah, Savannah. That historic city that simply drips with Southern charm. It’s a place where you can slow down your pace, pick up a drawl, commune with ghosts, and revisit the past. If you’re an art lover, you’re in luck, since the students and staff at the Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) have fostered a vibrant arts community there. Beach bums will feel right at home on nearby Tybee Island, and history buffs will hardly run out of facts, figures, and folklore to ruminate over. But this one is for the foodies, the eatatarians, the lovers of good grub and drink. Because if there’s anything that Savannah is serious about, it’s eating and drinking. Like any self-respecting Southern dame, Savannah does have her secrets. The locals don’t go to the same places that the tourists do, and when they do, they know better than to suffer ridiculous waits or fall for the tourist specials. So if you know someone in Savannah, get in touch with them before you arrive and ask them to show you around. But if you don’t, the following compilation of some of Savannah’s best restaurants, bars, and other gastronomic diversions should do you just fine.

Where to Stay in Savannah: Hilton Desoto

On my last two visits to Savannah, the Desoto has been my home base of operations. It’s not so much that the rates are spectacular, but you can’t get a much better location. The Desoto is smack dab in the middle of downtown Savannah, and it’s walking distance to almost every place on this and most other lists of places to see and what to do in Savannah. Ask for a room with a balcony – the view of downtown Savannah is beautiful day and night, and the ocean/river breeze doesn’t hurt.

for craft beer

The Distillery - Casual atmosphere, respectable brew selection, friendly wait staff. Happy hour specials that get you $1 off all draft brews. The menu features standard pub fare with flair. http://www.distillerysavannah.com/

     

for bbq that’s finger lickin’ good (not great)

Wiley’s Championship BBQ – Where’s there’s smoke, there’s usually good ‘cue. I didn’t smell any smoke when driving up to Wiley’s, but the barbecue was still pretty decent. The sauce comes in regular and spicy. The sides are a little more refined than most ‘cue shacks. http://www.wileyschampionshipbbq.com/

     

One-of-a-Kind Savannah Souvenirs: Shop SCAD

Shop SCAD is like a mini art museum, except you can take the art home with you. Unique and quirky handcrafted gifts, wearable art, paintings, cards, and housewares are on display. All of the art is made by SCAD students and alumni. http://shopscadonline.com/

 for posh provisions

Parker’s Market Urban Gourmet – there are plenty of Parker’s gas stations around Savannah. But the one at the corner of Drayton and McDonough in downtown Savannah is decidedly different. Even from the outside, it’s hard to tell that this place is a gas station. And inside, you feel as if you’ve stepped into a new Whole Foods concept. Parker’s boasts a respectable wine section, craft brews, a gourmet hot bar, and high-end packaged goods. Grab some items for an impromptu gourmet picnic under the shade of Spanish-moss-covered trees in one of the nearby historic squares. Open 24 hours. http://www.parkersav.com/parkers_market.cfm

     

Savannah’s Historic Squares

Downtown Savannah is peppered with 24 historic squares, each one named for a notable historic figure or event. Grab yourself a box of chocolates and head to Chippewa Square… that’s the one where the bench scenes from Forrest Gump were filmed.

for crabgasmic goodness at a bargain price

Fiddler’s Crab House – Savannah’s selection of peel-and-eat seafood restaurants is surprisingly underwhelming. Fiddler’s is slightly above the rest of them for one reason only: the Monday night all-you-can-eat crab leg special for under $20. The joint ain’t fancy, and it’s smack dab in the middle of the touristy Savannah River Walk, but the crab is fresh, perfectly steamed and plentiful. http://www.yelp.com/biz/fiddlers-crab-house-savannah

Hit the Bricks: Savannah Tours and Transportation

At some point you’re going to want to walk off all the good grub you’ve been shoveling down your gullet. Fortunately, Savannah is extremely pedestrian-friendly. For $13, you can download a self-guided walking tour of Savannah. Of course if you’re totally lazy or you’ve tied on one too many, Savannah’s free Connect shuttle will get you anywhere you need to go in historic downtown Savannah.

for saying hello to your little friends

The Crab Shack (on Savannah’s Tybee Island) – They advertise as if they have Jesus on the menu. But in reality, the food is just ok. The service, equally so-so. And the open air, beachy dining experience would be nice, except for all the stray cats skulking about, and the sand gnats making an all-you-can-eat buffet out of your lower extremities. So if you absolutely must go to this tourist trap, bring some cover for legs and arms. Those little buggers can get vicious ‘round dusk. http://www.thecrabshack.com/

 

for fresh baked breakfast

Harris Baking Company – Nothing starts the day off as well as a good breakfast. Harris Baking Company offers a mouth-watering selection of fresh-baked breads and pastries, good quality coffee, and a pleasant environment to mull over the morning paper. It’s perfect, not-too-heavy fuel for a long day of Savannah sightseeing. http://www.harrisbakingco.com

The Other First Lady of Savannah’s Food Scene

Paula Deen undoubtedly put Savannah on the culinary map - which explains why so many people flock to The Lady and Sons, her iconic restaurant that features classic southern fare. The food at The Lady and Sons is damned good, but if you’re looking for a more authentic southern dining experience in Savannah, Mrs. Wilkes is your best bet.

for food like grandma used to make

Mrs. Wilkes Dining Room (Cash only!) – Every time I think of Mrs. Wilkes, I have to drop my head and shake it back and forth like an old woman in church. Partly because of the trials and tribulations I had to go through to get there. But mostly because of the sweet glory that awaited me when I finally made it in! The wait for Mrs. Wilkes can be 1-2 hours, which you’ll spend standing outside in a line that snakes to the end of the block. Use the time to get to know your neighbors, since you’ll all be dining together at that big, bountiful buffet on the other side. Once you’re seated, the aunties start bringing the food. A head-swirling array of bowls heaped high with true Southern classics: rutabagas, succotash, turnip greens, cabbage, mashed potatoes, rice and gravy, black eyed peas, green beans, sweet potato soufflé, carrot salad, macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, bbq pork, sausages, biscuits, and cornbread… and that’s just a sampling of the dishes presented. Each is a textbook demonstration of how these Southern soul food staples should taste. Halleluuuu! http://www.mrswilkes.com/

     

notable mentions:

Here are a few more places that I haven’t yet visited but have gotten glowing reviews from trusted foodie friends.

Eat Like a Savannah Local: Off the Beaten Path

For more restaurants and attractions that may not show up in the Savannah tourist guides, check out: http://www.savannahoffthebeatenpath.com/for a compilation of Savannah restaurants and watering holes that locals love and visitors often overlook.

Seafoodlicious – Rumored to serve up some of Savannah’s best low country boil and blue crabs. It’s located in an area that’s not as aesthetically pleasing as downtown Savannah. But you’re here for the food, not the scenery. http://www.yelp.com/biz/seafoodlicious-savannah

Uncle Bubba’s Oyster House – Paula Deen’s other Savannah restaurant, co-operated by her brother Bubba http://www.unclebubbas.com/

bar.food – Asian-fusion bar food, serious nightly drink specials, and an urban chic vibe http://barfoodsavannah.com/

Zunzi’s Take Out and Catering - gourmet salads, sandwiches, and more for lunch on the run http://www.zunzis.com/

cheers,

k

mistress didi - crusader of classic fetish

**Disclaimer: some of the links and topics contained in this post are of an adult nature. If you find such information objectionable, go watch a cartoon. :)**

Bondage, BDSM, fetish, kink. When you hear those terms, images of whips, chains, leather, and latex may immediately come to mind. Less innocuous terms like freak, pervert, or deviant, are often used to describe the participants in the bondage and fetish scenes. Many people are confounded, some are intrigued (even those who won’t admit it), and others are downright repulsed by the set of behaviors classified as modern fetish. But there is at least one woman who is dedicated to preserving fetish and BDSM as an art, not only for the beauty of it, but for its therapeutic benefits as well.

Her name? Mistress Didi. Had it not been for the annual Hedonism art show at Apache I attended a few months back, our paths might never have crossed. After the show, which featured live performances and installations by several local erotic artists, I had questions. Who were these artists and performers? Did they have day jobs? What path leads one to take the stage or pick up a paintbrush as an erotic artist? I set out to find answers, and when I came across Mistress Didi, I felt that I’d found a reliable source for them. Instead of the usual graphic and provocative imagery on other fetish websites, Mistress Didi’s site provides page after page of information that is an unlikely blend of spiritual philosophy, basic manners and etiquette, and of course, fetish culture. Her emphasis on quality and artisanship in the culture has led her to coin the term classic fetish, of which she is a very vocal proponent.

After a few online exchanges, Mistress Didi - a petite little firebrand with a demeanor befitting a Mistress - agreed to let me interview her so she could explain more about the spiritual, therapeutic, and artistic aspects of classic fetish.

---

What do you think is the biggest misconception about fetish? That it’s not consensual and that it’s a psychological deviation. In the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition) fetish is literally classified as an abnormality.

That’s sort of ironic, since you consider fetish to be therapeutic. Can you speak about how you’ve added a therapeutic aspect to fetish? What sort of challenges or blocks do you feel fetish can help people overcome? You make decisions about who you are in your life. You have to like who you are. So many times, we choose things based upon others telling us that we will be accepted or like based on their criteria. People are massively mind controlled by religion, the media… but it’s about being responsible for your actions, and living life to enjoy it. I have my philosophy of spiritual hedonism which is my religion that I invented. I figured, hey, if L. Ron Hubbard can invent one then I can too! And mine is a helluva lot more fun than his! (laughs) But my thing is about being responsible for your actions. Whatever you choose to do, be responsible for that 100%, live life to enjoy it and spread that joy. Party on!

Hey, what else is there, right? What if? That’s my motivation. What if? What if the world does end in 2012? What if something falls out of the sky on top of my head? What if this is my last inhale? When I die, I don’t want to go, “Oh hell, that sucked”. I wanna be able to say, “Alright, that was pretty cool!” I recognize that I am a sadist by nature, but I also know that as a Libra, I go to extremes. Like all my charitable work, all my healing work in my vanilla life is one end of the spectrum. And then my expertise in the sadistic arts is the other end of the spectrum. However, as I was saying to you earlier about responsibility… I’m not one of these people that has some kind of egomania going on and is picking up a whip and just flailing it ridiculously. I studied with qualified practitioners and experts in their particular genres, and I know what I’m doing. Plus I have an extensive knowledge of human physiology and human psychology and I’m always enhancing my education. I owe that not only to myself, but to the fetish community. Because if you’re gonna go out there and call yourself a dominant, then you need to be in control of your reality, your own personal space, your own domain.

That’s quite powerful. But you can take that outside of the fetish world. The thing is that we are taught to react rather than respond. Reaction is irrational and it’s designed so we can take the focus off of our responsibility. When you respond, that requires conscious choice and a decision that you make that you can live with yourself.

So how do you respond to the mainstream’s misconceptions about fetish? What I’ve decided to do is create better fetish. What they call fetish now are these screaming, screeching parties. At these little screeching parties with all these kids who think they’re gonna tell ME about domming… what they don’t know is that I’m old enough to be their mother, I just look better than they do. And there’s a reason for that too. Their whole concept of S&M is stand and pose. They like getting dressed up – god knows I do – but that is not the end of it all. They have no etiquette, they have no manners. Some people think fetish is kink. Fetish is not just kink. Fetish is not just about sexuality.

There’s a more ancient, historical aspect to the term, right? If you look at the word fetish in the dictionary, you will see that. In indigenous cultures, these people took a physical thing that embodied the representation of how you were working spiritual energy and how you were focusing that. How u connect with the higher God energy to manifest things in your life.

Fetish (definition) - A fetish (from the French fétiche; which comes from the Portuguese feitiço; "artificial" and the Latine facere, "to make") is an object believed to have supernatural powers, or in particular, a man-made object that has power over others.

French philosopher Michel Leiris simplifies the original definition as, an ‘objectified form of our desire’.

Another misconception about fetish. People think that you go to one of these parties and someone is gonna beat you. No, no, no! If that happens, you need to complain to somebody and have the offender thrown the hell out. Because the creed is safe, sane, and consensual. I see all kinds of abominable things happening at these parties and that’s why I don’t go. I have my own parties and with the exception of the one on June 4, they’re all private. And because that behavior is fostered and allowed to breed like a cancer in our community, that’s why I wrote, “How to Properly Present Yourself to a Mistress” and offer it as a free book.

You mention on your site that your book is also useful for people who aren’t necessarily into fetish? Absolutely. I tell people to use this for their kids. Because all that it is is common courtesy and social graces. Now, if we taught our children in kindergarten 2 things. Body awareness so that they would be able to do a check-in internally, do some deep breathing or other techniques instead of fidgeting because they’re uncomfortable. And if we taught kids that it’s ok to acknowledge that I’m angry or I don’t like that. Acknowledge that and realize what else you can do with that. You don’t always have to be…  well, for lack of a better word, you don’t always have to be a d*&k! You can choose to take the high road even when others are being low-lives. That’s one of the things I teach in Domina 101.

Is that what separates classic fetish – the protocols, the courtesies, and the rituals? My brand of classic fetish goes even beyond that. I call it classic fetish because we’re taking it towards the highest beauty. Have you ever seen a pair of shoes that takes your breath away and it’s a magical moment? I grew up in the fetish scene, so what it’s deteriorating today is disgusting and its deteriorating because there’s these little hoochies working in a dungeon and they think they can put the word Mistress in front of their name and that puts them in the same category as someone like me.

First of all, they’re not really dommes. They are subbing to some idiot guy with a pimp mentality. That’s why I call them ‘hoochies with whips’. The reason that we even have the distinction of classic fetish is because people have decided to abuse something that was beautiful.

How would you suggest dominants or aspiring dommes who don’t just want to be ‘hoochies with whips’ educate themselves? What about vanilla people who want to begin exploring fetish? For aspiring dommes, there are tons of seasoned dommes out there to learn from and there are organizations like TES (The Eulenspiegel Society). They should also check out my articles: The Importance of Rituals and Protocols, and Domme vs. Dumme. For newcomers to the scene, there is a website called The BDSM Resource Center. It’s a really good resource for fetish or I should say BDSM education. Fetish includes lifestyle stuff like people who just enjoy certain articles of clothing. BDSM is bondage, domination, sadomasochism – it is an actual physical expression. It’s a very physical thing.

Are there certain tools and techniques that every fetishist should have in his or her toolkit? Yes! Have a basic knowledge of First Aid. Become CPR certified, definitely own a First Aid kit. Know how to handle burns, cuts. Have safety rules. And always play with a phone nearby, in case of emergencies. I think everyone should go to a safe party - where you can actually talk to people whose lifestyles are a part of this culture. And these people are a much higher caliber versus going to a loud disco where the music is so loud you can’t hear anything. When I see people playing in these clubs where the music is so loud… that to me is very irresponsible, because you can’t see the danger signs.

As an African-American in the fetish / BDSM community, are you something of a unicorn? Do you find that there are any racial divides or misunderstandings within the fetish community? There’s a huge black culture in the whole BDSM thing. People give folks - especially those who are into being slaves or submissives a lot of flack for that. Like, given our history, how could you want to be a slave? But they don’t understand that this is a completely different concept from the slavery that we understand as a part of African-American history. That was completely non-consensual.

Talk about some of the classes you offer? Which is your most popular? Transcendent trampling. Because when I trample it’s a sight to see. That’s my own specific technique. When I teach that, first I start out with a basic anatomy course. Which muscles can take weight bearing, where are the places that you should never apply pressure. Where is the carotid artery... don’t lean on that! (laughs) because I was a dancer for years, when I trample, it’s a work of art.

I seem to get a lot of response for Max Wax, my waxplay course.  Now the vanilla women are really funny. They want to know all of this stuff, but if it’s not presented to them in a way that they feel they won’t be judged, then they can’t get with the program. So I have a course that I call Role Play 101 – and it’s really just a basic introduction on how to spice up your sex life with your honey.

Where would you like to see fetish go? Ten years from now, do you think you’ll still be involved in fetish? Oh, absolutely. This is a part of who I am. I think folks think it’s something you do on the weekends. This is part of who I am, not just how I am. Most people don’t realize that who they are can be quite lovely… how they are is quite wretched.

To be a dominant means you choose how things are for your comfort and your ultimate well-being in your life. People don’t like that. They think it means you put on 8-inch heels and walk around with your butt hanging out, but I only do that on special occasions and only for special people. And no I DO NOT have sex with my playmates. This is not a sexual thing for me. This is a connection between two people on a level that is spiritual, physical, emotional, mental and is totally transcendent. And because I have that experience on a regular basis, I see how many people are not having it, and that’s what's missing from what is considered fetish in the mainstream today.

It’s not necessarily for everyone else. But I say, don’t knock it until you try it. There are things that you’ll discover that you don’t like, and you just have to understand that that’s what YOU don’t like. Just try not to judge what other people do like. And there’s some nasty stuff out there – very unhealthy stuff. I don’t understand how folks get into it. But I try not to judge it, I just make my choices not to indulge with them.

At this point in our talk, Mistress Didi’s dog, who she calls Li’l Doggie enters and asks for a treat. She shares that Li’l Doggie – who she got from an animal rescue - doesn’t have much longer to live. She moves on to tell me about another dog that she rescued previously that had been abused.

I took him, in a short amount of time, from being in a place of extreme fear to being able to sit on strangers’ laps. And that, to me, is dominance. Because I created an environment for him to become as beautiful as he could be, and to love life as much as he could. And that is what BDSM is for me. That’s what I believe the goal of being a dominant is. You don’t just have someone in your life because you can. It should be a mutual evolutionary process.

We move on to talk about other things like: her future plans to open a private fetish club in NYC (contact her if you're interested in investing), RuPaul's Drag Race (she's a fan), and the fact that she feels this season's RPDR winner - Tyra Sanchez - is a good role model for his son.

I'd love to meet her. Tyra accepts who Tyra is. Tyra says to the world, this is how I express myself and how I love living.

How dare someone tell me how we should love. Look what their way of loving got the world.

For more information about Mistress Didi and her brand of classic fetish, check out her website, her blog, or follow her on Twitter.

cheers,

k

how to make a tangerine basil mojito

Popsicles are for kids, right? Wrong.

Once you've tasted the tantalizing frozen treats from Atlanta popsicle purveyor, King of Pops, you might find yourself elbowing little kids in the forehead to get to them before they do.

King of Pops (a member of Atlanta's growing street food vendor community) offers gourmet popsicles that feature unique pairings of fresh ingredients like pineapple and ginger, grapefruit and mint, and lime with fresh squeezed cane juice.

On a recent visit to the Irwin Street Market, the beau and I sampled King of Pops tangerine basil offering. I can honestly say that I've never had a popsicle that tasted soooo good! The popsicle had little pieces of tangerine pulp and whole-leaf basil throughout - a very refreshing combo for a hot day. On the beau's suggestion that flavors in the popsicle "might make a tasty beverage as well," I decided to test out a cocktail recipe with tangerine and basil that's a lot like the recipe for a traditional mojito.

Don't worry, you won't have to fight the kids over this one - it's strictly for the grown ups.

Ingredients / Supplies (for 1 tangerine-basil mojito)

1 small tangerine or 1/2 large tangerine

3-4 fresh basil leaves

2 tsp granulated sugar (raw sugar is best, you might also sub agave, if that's your thing)

white rum (preferably Cachaca - Brazilian rum)

crushed ice

highball glass

muddler or pestle

How to make the tangerine-basil mojito:

Cut the tangerine into small wedges and place in glass. Roll basil leaves together and slice into thin strips. Add the basil to the glass. Add sugar to glass and muddle all ingredients together with pestle or muddler. The goal is to extract as much juice from the tangerine as you can while dissolving most or all of the sugar. Fill the glass with crushed ice. Pour in rum until glass is approximately 3/4 full. Vary the strength of the drink by using more tangerine and sugar and / or less rum to your tastes.

Of course, if you absolutely must share this beverage with the little ankle-biters, just substitute the cachaca with 'fizzy lifting drink' - aka, sparkling water or club soda.

cheers,

k

20 things mama used to (and still does) say

I was listening to WABE the other day and the announcer asked for listeners to call in and share things that their mother always said that they still remembered. I didn't get a chance to call in and share my memories, but in honor of Mother's Day, I thought I'd share them with you, Dear Reader. Here goes...

1. It’s better to have and not need than to need and not have.

2. There is a difference between being a woman and being a lady.

3. Always be observant.

4. Your beauty may open a door, but your brain will keep it open for you.

5. The streets will always be there.

6. If you ever feel you want to try drugs or alcohol, come to me first. (yeah, my mom’s progressive as hell!)

7. Bedtime is at 9:30 pm. (progressive, yet ridiculously strict!)

8. Always take 2 quarters with you, so you can use the pay phone if he acts up on the date. (obviously before cell phones!)

9. Never go for the HMO option.

10. Real ladies keep their shoes on all night (for those of y’all who like to wear those heels you can’t walk in).

11. As long as you live under my roof, you will do what I say.

12. Never say, "I don’t know" when I ask why you did something. Say, "Because I wanted to". You should always know why you did something.

13. Y’all called me up to the school for THIS? (when I got in trouble for saying the word ‘penis’ on camera in high school)

14. Don’t be the one who is influenced. Be the one who influences.

15. People didn’t expect much from you because I was a single parent. Just shows you that you shouldn't worry about what people expect.

16. I got you this far. I’m done raising you. The rest is up to you.

17. I guess I have to cut the apron strings at some point.

18. Alright, queen. don’t forget I am yo’ mama! (said when we ‘argue’)

19. Aren’t you lucky to have such a beautiful muuuther!? (I am, by the way)

20. You know I always got your back. (and I got yours, mama!)

What are some things your mother used to (or still does) say?

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. We hear you, even when we're not listening ;-).

cheers,

k

earth day turns 40 today - some gifts you can give

Today is the 40^th anniversary of Earth Day – a day designed to inspire awareness and appreciation for the lovely blue planet we call home (well, most of us anyway… some of y’all are clearly from the outer limits).

Haven’t thought of how you’ll celebrate the day? No worries, here’s a handy list of ways you can show Earth that you care.

• Take a walk around your neighborhood – pick up any trash you see along your walk. Talk to any neighbors you run into and ask them to do the same.
• For Atlanta residents, take a look at the skyline. See that slightly brown haze? Yeah, that’s not supposed to be there.  Get on the phone with your local and state representative or send them an email and ask them what they’re doing to: 1) support clean air in our city, or 2) help enhance public transportation options that reduce smog.
• Go for a quick hike in one of Atlanta’s neighborhood, state, or national parks.
• Visit an Atlanta-area community garden – ask how you can get involved. Don’t have a community garden in your neighborhood? Start one.
• Check into joining a CSA (community-supported agriculture). With CSAs you get fresh produce from local farms delivered to you. Way better than the over-priced, under-fresh stuff from the grocery store that you don’t know WHERE it came from. Here’s a comprehensive list of Atlanta-area CSAs.
• Work from home – save the miles and the emission. If you can’t do that…
• Bike to work, carpool, take the train or bus. If you can’t do that…
• Walk to the store in the evening instead of driving.
• Have dinner by candlelight and save some energy. Better yet, replace your regular light bulbs with energy-efficient light bulbs. If you’re feeling really magnanimous, buy a couple of extra bulbs and gift them to your neighbor.
• Gather your old electronics for recycling on April 24 at Turner Field. Here’s the details (PDF) .
• Visit Atlantic Station’s Enviro Expo. For extra impact, bike there or take Marta to Arts Center Station and catch the free shuttle from there.
• Donate or pledge to WABE - Atlanta's public radio station - today. For each pledge received today, Trees Atlanta will plant a tree in your honor.
• Save some green with these Earth Day deals and discounts from the Atlanta Bargain Hunter – free milkshakes, discount Six Flags tickets, and free admission to the Atlanta Botanical Garden await.
• Celebrate Our World Earth Day 2010 at Georgia Tech.
• Support local food , local business, and Atlanta’s street food revolution at the Super Secret Underground Food Truck Extravaganza today.

cheers,

k

Career Transition: 8 Steps For Turning Your Craft Into A Career

Your day job is what pays the bills. So you get up every day and go to work faithfully. But secretly (or maybe not-so-secretly), you harbor a passion for some other work – your craft – that one thing you feel like you were destined to do with your life. The only problem is, if you were to jump head first into pursuing your passion, you might not be able to keep the lights on. So, maybe you should just give up on that dream of yours, right?

Wrong. If you’re focused and willing to put forth a little extra effort, there’s a way for you to make it happen. While there’s no guaranteed path to success, here are 8 steps that will undoubtedly help you transform your part-time hobby into a full-time career.

1. Educate Yourself - Either enroll in a paid course or do some targeted self-study. Buy books and read articles in industry publications. You need to get very smart about the history, and current and future trends of the work you want to do. Is there a viable market for what you want to do? Also, get a feel for what goes on behind-the-scenes of the craft - those things that you'll have to do that aren't necessarily related to the craft itself. For instance, if you want to be a writer, you need to learn how to write pitch letters. If you want to be a musician, you might need to learn about putting together a press kit or music copyright law. Find out what average salaries or pay rates are in the field. This step alone may make you second guess your decision to pursue your craft as a full-time career.

3. Carve Out a Niche - How do you do your work differently? Are your products and services for a certain type of person or audience? What can you do with your work that's totally unique? Develop your own persona, your own set of offerings that's just a little bit different than what's already out there.

5. Build a Resume - Whether you want to work your craft as an employee or as a business owner, you'll need to show that you're experienced. Early on you may not have a lot to put on a resume, so seek out volunteer or non-paying opportunities that will give you that experience. Look at previous jobs that may have required you to use the same skills, even though you might not have had the exact title. If you have the time and energy, consider moonlighting or taking some one-off projects or a part-time gig in the field you’re looking to break into.

7. Join a Flock – Seek out a trade association, industry organization, or just a network of people who are doing the same work. Be active, ask a lot of questions, let people know that you're trying to break in to the industry, ask for ways you can lend your talents to the group, offer to take people out to coffee, to collaborate with them on their next project. Above all, be genuine with this group. They'll be like your new family.

9. Tell Everyone - Tell everyone you know - friends, family, former co-workers, the guy who makes your coffee at the corner café – about your ‘new’ line of work. This is for two reasons: 1) so you get comfortable claiming your new career, and 2) so people you know start seeing you as this person. Ideally, you should get some self-promotion tools in place - business cards, a website or blog - so you can showcase your talent to the world.

11. Define Your Prey - Clearly define who your target customer is or what type of organization you want to work for. How far are you willing to travel? How many hours do you want to work? What types of people do you want to work with? What kind of salary are you willing to accept? Get clear about what it is you're actually looking for, and then...

13. Go Hunting - Talk to contacts in your network that can introduce you to your target clients. Hang out in places where your clients hang out (be sure to bring your self-promotion items with you), meet people and follow up with them, even if it's just for personal reasons. This step is about building the relationships that will get you closer to your ideal client or type of work.

15. Be Patient Persistent - If you're lucky, you may achieve success overnight. If you're patient, you'll wait as long as it takes for success to come to you. But if you're persistent, you'll realize that it takes both time and consistent effort for you to reach a desired level of success, and you'll continue to do the work required to meet your goals.

Have any other tips for how to make your part-time passion your full-time career? Drop 'em in the comments.

photo credit: Tony the Misfit

cheers,
k

warm weather red: lodi deep purple zinfandel

There was a time when I was a year-round drinker of white wines. I hadn't yet developed the palate to appreciate the taste of a merlot, a cabernet, or even a pinot noir. Over time, however, I grew to like reds more, but I was still the sort of red drinker who saved the ruby-colored vinos for the cooler months of the year. Once spring hit, I couldn't wait to get back to my tried-and-true Chardonnays, Rieslings, and Pinot Grigios.   This past winter though, I seem to have developed a stronger affinity for reds than ever before, and even now that it's begun to warm up here in Atlanta, I'm still longing for the fuller, rounded taste of a red over the immature sweetness of  a white (hm. pausing for a moment to reflect on the unintentional parallel to my over-30 self).

Anywho, a couple of days ago the beau brought home what looks like will be my warm-weather red companion for at least a few more weeks - we'll have to see how much I'm loving it once the temperature stays above the 90-degree mark.

Name: Deep Purple Zinfandel 2007

Type: A California Zinfandel from the Lodi region

Tastes Like: very jammy; blackberry, and ripe purple fruit

Where to Buy: Green's on Ponce

Wallet Damage: around $10

Other Notes:  The label is decked out in psychedelic lettering that's a trip to read, especially after a couple of glasses. We've already nicknamed it 'Purple Haze'.

shifting into manic with atlanta photographer gudrun stone

Gudrun (pronounced: 'good-drun') Stone continues to build a reputation for herself as a rising star in Atlanta's artist community. She excels at capturing the energy and passion of stage and concert performances - Van Hunt, Brittany Bosco, and countless visiting artists at the annual National Black Arts Festival have all found themselves in front of her lens. Her first solo photography exhibit - Long Exposures, which debuts at the Ferst Center on April 11 - is just another milestone on her journey of evolution as an artist, and a multi-faceted human being.   I sat down with Gudrun to talk about the upcoming exhibit and to get some insight into what helps her bring her visions to life on film.  

---

  So tell me a little about yourself. Where you’re from, about your brothers and sisters, your criminal record and things like that.  I’m a real live Georgia peach. I grew up off McAfee and Glenwood. My Grandpa used to own the corner store near East Lake Elementary. We moved to North Dekalb in 1985. My grandmothers still live near East Atlanta Village, so I still say I’m from Decatur.  

Art comes from my mother – she’s one of 9 kids and each one has an artistic avenue. We ‘downloaded’ that through good DNA. Mom raised us in museums. She did interior decorating, too. So, color came to me at a very young age. My parents became non-traditional students. And when they went back to college, I went with them. I say that I went to college my whole life. I grew up in the art department of the school, listened to WCLK, Ken Rye, Ken Batie – all of them growing up.  

The surprising thing is that I’m not a painter or graphic designer. I started doodling and even designed my own comic strip. I used to draw on myself. I would sit in class all day and draw, and when I ran out of sketch pad paper I drew on my wrists, my ankles.  

And then in my early 20s I just stopped everything and I worked.   

What kind of work did you do? I’ve been in public service my whole career. I was a page for Dekalb county public library system, and I was a photography assistant for the Governor’s office for 1.5 years.    

So how did you get your start with photography? Was that your first run in? Oh, my dad took pictures of everything. At Thanksgiving dinner he took pictures – and not just pictures of us at the table. Pictures of the food, you know, moving it around to shoot it just right. Both of my parents were very detail-oriented about what they did. My dad would experiment taking pictures of me on different settings – light, dark. The internship just sort of fell into my lap.  

But you asked about brothers and sisters? I have an older brother, Thelonious – named after the monk, not the musician. Both of us were musicians growing up. I had a sort of a hero complex. We didn’t go to school at the same time, but my brother had been a musician in high school – you know jazz band and all that – and sort of became big man on campus. So by the time I got there, he wasn’t there anymore, but the people who knew him sort of took me under their wing. I didn’t get into art until my junior year. But it was good that I followed in my brother’s footsteps. Music is a part of the art for me.  

Your name is pretty unique. Is there a meaning behind the name? My father named me. My father was drafted for Vietnam, but he never made it, he was stationed in Germany. He took the opportunity to learn as much as he could about the culture, and he heard the story of Gudrun. The name means, ‘secret keeper of the gods; divine wisdom; battle friend’. It’s from the Volsungasaga. It freaks German people out when they see that I have that name. And of course I used to get picked on as a kid.    

Uh-oh, what were some of the nicknames? Bad Run. Goodie-Goodie Two Shoes. But what I realized when I got older is that my name could have been Susie Q and people still would have made up names. I’m thankful to my dad because I have this great name and it’s an ice breaker, a conversation starter.  

On your blog, you describe yourself as a little bit redneck, a little bit ghetto,a whole lot of suburbia and a dash of glamour. Explain what you mean by that. I was raised in Chamblee - Tucker, I’m a product of Dekalb County public schools. I hate when people say the public schools system fails. A lot of what I have comes from public schools. 

I love to go to East Atlanta Village, but I hate to go to East Atlanta Village. It  kills me when all the hipsters complain about suburbanites coming over there. It used to be all black-owned. What used to be Willie’s Bakery is now a sushi restaurant. I used to get my hair done at the flea market building that shares the lot with The Earl. What’s hip and popular now, were thriving, black-owned businesses. And we had something. That was our community. 

When we moved to North Dekalb, it wasn’t uncommon to see people come to school on a tractor. So, I listen to country music. I used to want a Toyota Tacoma pickup truck, raised, with roll bars. People say, ‘you talk white’. I’m like, no I don’t. I talk proper. I speak the Queen’s. What you see is only a quarter of who I am. 

Do you find it challenging to be an artist now, to make a living off of your art? Yep. That’s why I have a day job. I love that we have a strong art community here. Michi, Dubelyoo, Dosa Kim, Fahamu, Russell Gunn. We have this beautiful art community. But people in the A always want a hookup, they want free.99, or to barter… which is fine, up to a point.   

Yeah, the landlord doesn’t take barter. Right? Georgia Power won’t accept barter. I mean I barter too, but I always tip in cash. So there’s a place for it, and people have to remember that. You know, I’m here in Atlanta now, but in 20 years, I probably won’t be in Atlanta anymore. Other cities, like St. Louis; San Francisco; Venice, California… New York – people are willing to pay for work. I can recall sitting in coffee shops when I was in Venice and seeing people who’d come in and be so inspired by art hanging on the wall in the shop, that they’d buy a $200 piece right there, while they were just waiting in line for a bagel. Whereas here, I see people go, “Oh, I really like this. I’m not gonna buy it, I’ll just take a picture of it and make it a screensaver.” 

I want for Atlanta to realize what they have. We have the seedlings of a great art scene. I should have more options than to go dance my booty off until 3 am. You can go to a museum in New York at 1 or 2 in the morning. Atlanta is my home, I don’t want to have to go somewhere else to be able to be a self-sustaining artist. If you can’t afford the $300 work, come up to me and say, I can’t afford this huge, framed piece, but do you have an 8x10 unframed print in my price range? 

How did you get started with the National Black Arts Festival? Mike Moss – I believe he was looking for someone to do something rock-ish. He wanted something with a little edge. He did a search on Myspace – back then I was still on Myspace – and he reached out and contacted me. It was a while before we actually connected. And then all of a sudden he calls me up like, “I want you to come shoot Van Hunt”. I’m like 'what?' This has gotta be a joke. This guy’s up to some skullduggery and mischief – I mean, I didn’t even know who Mike was. So I go and meet them at Apache, and I sat outside in my truck for a while trying to decide if I was actually going to go in. I finally did, and Mike takes me to the back and goes, “This is Van,” you know, like it was nothing. Meanwhile, I’m so excited that I can’t even answer when Van asks me what my favorite song of his is. It’s ‘Dust’, by the way. I shot Van Hunt that night and I think there was only like 1 shot that he didn’t like. 

About a week later I got another call from Mike. He says, "We want you to shoot the festival". I’m like, really? So they tell me to look at the schedule and pick what events I want to shoot at. You know that dream you have… where you’re walking through a store, shopping and picking out everything, and then when you get to the check-out, you wake up? Yeah, that was sort of like that dream for me. 

So I shot the (2008) festival. And by the time I was done I had like 9,000 photos. Leatrice (Ellzy) and Mike were like, “What didn’t you take?” But for me it’s the little things, all these little moments…. 

The festival allows me to shoot the way I shoot for myself. 

So how did you hone your photographic skills? I’m pretty much self-taught. I had a year in the darkroom learning the ropes, and trial and error. A lot of trial and error. 

A lot of people might not know this about you, but you were the first Black Atlanta Rollergirl. What brought you and roller derby together? I came across the Atlanta Rollergirls on Myspace back in ’05. I really just wanted to shoot some sports photography. I reached out to The Notorious R.I.P. (aka, Gabby), and asked if I could come to a practice and shoot. And she was like, “You can come to practice and try out”. After she didn’t budge, I had my whole McGuyver thing planned out. I figured I’d go do a couple of laps and fake being out of breath, and just hang out on the side and shoot from the waist. But that Monday night was like something from a movie. I was sitting there and these 4 girls walk in – and it was like they were

 moving in slo-mo – I think it was Princess Lay You Out, Demi Gore, Chelle Shocker. I saw them and thought, “These might be my people”. I took a couple of laps, fumbled a little, felt like a kid again, and all of a sudden it was like, this is something I want to do. 

I had always had guy friends. It wasn’t until I did roller derby that I had girl friends. And there was none of that Real Housewives of Atlanta drama – it was a sisterhood I had never had in the Black community. If I was ever in a Turkish prison, these girls would come bail me out. It was a real growing period. Before then I was ‘normal’. I had no visible tattoos, didn’t have my sleeve yet. After that I got pink braids… all of a sudden I could do things like that. My parents always brought me up to be straight-laced. 

I did roller derby for 3 years. But it was time consuming. It was like having a part-time job you didn’t get paid for. I got sick for a little while and couldn’t skate. And that’s when photography sort of became my outlet. 

So I know that you’re recently engaged. Now, a lot of women in Atlanta, especially Black women, lament the ratio of men to women here and complain about the quality of the dating scene in general. Do you have any advice or opinion to offer that helped you find a lasting relationship? I can’t really give any advice. Atlanta is unfortunate. Because of the homosexual climate in Atlanta, a lot of women are settling, and they’re breaking rules they wouldn’t normally break. It’s hard. I struggled too. I remember I’d date multiple guys – they were all aware of it – because Guy A would have 5-6 qualities I was looking for, Guy B would have 3-4, and Guy C would have maybe 1 or 2. So if I went on a different date on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, it’d be like I had a whole person. The climate in Atlanta makes you do this, because it’s better than having a gay husband. My best advice is just to quit looking. When you look, you become desperate and you settle. 

Your Twitter handle and your blog both bear the moniker, Shift Into Manic. What significance does that phrase have for you? Most people think it means I’m bipolar. But I prefer shifting gears to an automatic transmission any day. It’s about me. The fact that for 3 days a week I work the day job, and for 4 days I do something totally different. It’s about being able to be many people. Like when I met Neal (Barclay) I dressed up, and they were like, ‘we’ve never seen her like this before’. And of course you know by now, the way I talk and change topics. It’s about being a chameleon and still being able to come back to what I am. It’s about the different layers of Gudrun Stone. The layers that make me me. 

What sort of equipment do you use when you shoot? I’m a Canon girl, but I’m not a snob. But I have a lot more respect for someone who can get in a darkroom and develop by hand, create a picture from start to finish. If you can get in a darkroom and go toe to toe with me, I have respect. But if you have no manual skills, you don’t even shoot in manual mode on your digital...? 

So many people call themselves photographers, but they rely on electricity. God forbid, if some ‘I Am Legend’ stuff broke out, I could still create pictures. But some people see that and say, “You’re really using film?” Like I live in the projects, or like I got a polo shirt from Wal-Mart and stitched a little green lizard on it. 

What can people expect to see at your show, Long Exposures? This is my first solo show ever. 31 pieces of my little heart will be on display at the Ferst Center. 22 pieces in one gallery, 11 in the other. I tried to work with creatives in Atlanta – people that you don’t think of being in the arts scene... underground, so to speak. It would have been easy to pull people with names you already know. I used people like Dash (Dashill Smith), Melissa – who I always knew as a producer for Fox 5, but she’s also a classical pianist. I just reached out to people, and some couldn’t see the vision. But I just tried to showcase people with that creative energy. Mr. Soul – this graffiti artist out of Cleveland – I think he’s the best picture in the show, and all I did was click the shutter. I challenged him to do some graffiti without pen, paper, or spray paint, and what came out was amazing. And that’s what it’s about, to surround myself with others that have like energy. 

That’s what’s great about the show. I felt like I got to learn about these people I see all the time. It was a bonding process… they got to know me too. 

This is like my baby, and it’s days until my due date… and I’m sure I’ll have Braxton Hicks up until the show. I hope people come to the show and they’re moved by something they haven’t been exposed to before. Because I feel like each artist that participated bared a little bit of their soul. 

What advice do you have for other aspiring photographers? Read. Reading is fundamental. Experiment. Don’t be afraid to fail. And this is not sage advice, it’s just things you’re going to go through. You’re gonna fail. But sometimes in the failure, you find new ideas and concepts. Don’t think that because you have a BFA in photography or some other degree that you’re guaranteed success. Don’t be afraid to walk the road less traveled. Everyone doesn’t have to be Derek Blanks or Gordon Parks… you have to be who you are and your work will speak for itself.  

Who would you say are your role models or mentors? I’d have to say my dad, for the things he’s been through. For being a fighter. 

Ms. Baker who I met working at the Governor’s office. She looks at my work, I read her book in progress. She’s someone other than my mother who guides me. 

Frank Mullen. Mullen also shot concert photos. He shot for Rolling Stone, did personal shoots with Dita von Teese. But he would help you. I could call him in the middle of a shoot and say, “I’m not getting the results I want, these are my settings,” and he’d walk me through it over the phone. Frank Mullen taught me that you can be a rockstar shooter and not have a rockstar personality. It’s when others start dropping your name, not you dropping theirs, that you’re really a rockstar. 

Gudrun Stone presents Long Exposures Sunday April 11, 3-6pm Ferst Center at Georgia Tech 349 Ferst Drive Northwest Atlanta, GA 30332 

Gudrun Stone on Twitter Gudrun Stone's Blog Gudrun Stone on Flickr 

B&W photo of Gudrun Stone by Dean Hesse

Ima Gitcha photo by Russell Limprecht 

Van Hunt photo by Gudrun Stone

cheers, 

k

how to do atlanta - jeju sauna

The communal bath house is a relaxing tradition that’s found in many cultures, but most Americans would raise an eyebrow at the notion of visiting a 24-hour Korean spa. Rest assured, it’s not that kind of affair, even though the hot-pink neon signage out front might make you think otherwise.

$25 gets you a locker and unlimited access to the facilities at Jeju, plus a standard-issue, one-size-fits-all short set that evokes images of Logan’s Run. If lounging au naturale is your thing, the gender-separate locker rooms have showers, steam rooms, and soaking pools, and for an extra fee, you can have one of the older lady masseuses smack you up, flip you, and rub you down.

You might opt to literally spend the night in the large common area, which boasts 7 different therapeutic saunas – like the Jade room and the Charcoal Room, a large swimming pool, and a quick-serve Korean snack bar. Just a few hours at Jeju makes for a happy ending you don’t have to be ashamed of.

cheers,

k

Jeju Sauna 3555 Gwinnett Place Drive Duluth, GA 30096 www.jejusauna.net