What winning at work should look like

What does winning, and more specifically, what does winning at work mean?

 

If you think of winning in the traditional, one-size-fits-all way, winning looks or sounds like:

• An important title or highly visible status or position

• A large amount of money, or higher-than-average salary

• A larger-than-average home

• Ability to purchase as many brand name or high-dollar consumables - food, car, clothes, vacations - as you want

• Power and influence over others

But, I ask you to consider the concept of ‘winning’ from a different perspective - by considering what it would mean for you to lose.

What do you have in your life right now that you’d be absolutely gutted if you lost? Like, so messed up about this thing or part of your life being gone that you might not ever get over it? 

Close your eyes for a few moments and let yourself imagine what that thing is and how it might feel to lose it.

Got it?

That thing - whether it was a relationship, your home, your health, or whatever you imagined…

I now want you to ask yourself this:

Is my job helping me keep this or have more of this?

Or,

is my job helping me lose this or have less of this?

Is your job adding to or taking away from what you want most?

If you answered that your job is adding more of this to your life, Congrats!

This is likely your reward for being conscious enough of your values to find the right fit job or workplace for you.

Now, for the rest of us...

If your job isn’t helping you to have more of the things in your life that you don’t want to lose, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your job is bad. But more than likely, you’ve never really stopped to ask yourself this question about your job and what it could be causing you to lose or put at risk. Maybe you didn’t know that you could or should? Maybe you didn’t even feel like you had the right to ask this question.

The truth is: almost all of us think that winning in life and winning at work is like winning a race: The first to the finish with the most medals gets to the stand highest on the podium at the end, with the whole crowd cheering from the stands.

But if life really is a race, there’s only one place that race ends, and we are all guaranteed to make it there.

It’s death.

And, if death is the finish line, why would anyone want to be first? And why are we all trying to bring along so much stuff?

When you die, even if you had a lot of stuff, a lot of really nice stuff, that stuff is not what’s going be ‘on program’ at your funeral

The people you cared for, shared with, created with, grew with, experienced triumph, tragedy and laughter with, those you helped and those who helped you will be.

And when those people go to the podium to speak, they will tell stories. They will not list off accomplishments or titles or bank account balances, (what a terrible funeral that would be!) but stories. 

Have you ever listened to a friend tell a really good story about you?

Here’s a clip from one of my favorite movies, ‘Death Proof’ (total coincidence, I promise), where Rosario Dawson’s character Abernathy is telling a story about Zoe Bell, aka, ‘Zoe the Cat’.  (Warning: Language)

Hearing yourself as the main character in a story told by someone who likes you and gets you, is pretty cool. You get to see yourself from a different perspective. You get to see what people value most about you. You get a look at yourself in an accurate mirror.

I think we can agree by now that accomplishments and stuff alone aren’t enough to consider yourself a winner at life or at work.

So, if your work is giving you the chance to collect lots of stuff, but isn’t also giving you the chance to have more of what you value most, nor is it giving you the chance to create or hear the stories you want to hear about yourself... then what is it there for? And how can you move from just accomplishing or amassing to actually winning?

The 5 Self-Assessments I Do Before Goal-Setting

Every wise explorer carries something to navigate by.

Especially if what you’re exploring is yourself. 

Whenever I’m planning to make a major shift or a significant life change, I carve out time for a little self-exploration beforehand.

Why?

When I’m do something that doesn’t look like it makes sense to others, I have to be pretty sure of myself and the ‘big whys’ behind my big leap or big shift.

A few of the ‘senseless’ things I’ve done in the past:

• Quit my ‘good corporate job’ as a management consultant to invest in real estate

• Quit my ‘good corporate job’ as an IT project manager to become a freelance writer

• Quit my ‘good corporate job’ as a content strategist to move to Spain and teach English

And I recently quit my ‘good corporate job’ to start following my purpose.

After 4 years of working in an environment that tested my self-confidence and my commitment to my personal values, I knew I needed to spend some time getting reacquainted with myself without the constant stress and anxiety that comes with being in a situation or environment that is just not the right fit.

I turned to several personality assessments - some I’d taken before, some I hadn’t - to help me dig deep and really put some effort into my answers to the questions: 

‘Who Am I?’

 and,

‘Why Am I Here?’

Answering these questions allow me to enter my life planning or goal-setting process with clarity. Not just clarity about what I want - i.e., what I want to accomplish, what I want to have more of, what I want to have less of - but clarity about who I am now, who I am becoming, and what will help me bridge the gap between the two.

Having the answers to these questions gives me the essential ingredients I need to begin writing my life story. To assume the role of the hero in my own story. To stop waiting for external achievement, relationship or reward to make me feel complete or valued.

I believe that each of us was sent to the world at the exact time we were born because we have a mission to complete. Some call that mission destiny, others call it purpose. But whatever you call it, it’s this driving force that will really help us feel fulfilled in life versus only feeling accomplished.

To make sure I get the maximum value out of these personality assessments, I developed a process of extracting the most meaningful bits of each assessment and using them as inputs to:

1. Defining my life story’s main character

2. Creating the outline for my life story

As with life, it’s not just about the results of the test, but what you do with those results that matters most.

Below are the 5 personality assessments I use before I begin life planning or goal-setting. For more details on how I use each assessment, and how I create my Declaration of Self and my Life Value Map from the results, click each link to explore further.

My 5 Go-To Self-Assessments:

1. Natal chart

2. Typefinder (aka, Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator)

3. Enneagram

4. Life Values Inventory

5. StrengthsFinder

The Life Planning Outputs I Create from My Self-Assessments:

• Declaration of Self

• Life Value Map

New Year, New Story!

New year, new me! 

It’s a phrase we hear a lot at the start of a new calendar year. What it means: we’re ready to summon the newest and best version of ourselves to begin the year ahead. The funny thing is, the ‘new me’ that we think of, aka, the evolved self, is usually revealed at the end of a journey, not at the start of one.

So, I think the more fitting proclamation would be: New year, new story!

Your story is the process of transformation, aka, the journey, that brings about the new you. 

Goals motivate us. Goals give us something to strive for. An accomplishment to go after. But stories inspire us. Stories give us something to live by. Stories transform us and provide meaning.

So, why are we not writing stories at the start of a new year instead of goals?

The good news is: When it comes to planning your year, or your life, you can write pretty much whatever story you like...

... as long as you know how.

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Ready to Write your Story?

Want a peek at how I use stories for New Year’s goal-setting? Click below to learn more about my 4-step process.

How I Use Stories for Personal Goal-Setting and Life Planning

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Using Stories for Goal-Setting and Life Planning: Write, Then Edit

Writing Your Life story isn’t just about being inspired.

Crafting your life story chapter by chapter takes commitment to a process, or at least, to a set of guiding principles or habits. Much of story-writing or storytelling involves following a process that transforms the artist into a craftsman.

I’m writing the story of my life each and every day. The quality of my life story will largely be determined by the guiding principles I follow and the habits I develop. These principles and habits should be organic enough to allow me to respond to what’s happening in the moment, but also structured enough to make sure I don’t lose sight of my story.

Some of My Guiding Life Principles

·       Flexibility

·       Experimentation

·       Experiences over possessions

·       Belonging is better than fitting in

Some of My Life Habits

·       Regular self-reflection

·       Time spent in nature

·       Travel

Editing My Story

You can’t edit a story while you’re writing it.

Writing requires you to be present in the moment. Editing is when you have time to analyze, critique, review and adjust. Editing helps refine the initial draft of your life story into a finished product that has greater clarity and meaning.

When I take time out for self-reflection and self-development, I’m editing my life story. As I’m writing my story – living each day, going on adventures, encountering success and failure – I’m in the middle of it all, I’m too close, too emotionally involved in the events that are unfolding to assess them accurately in the moment.

I have to occasionally pause and reflect on everything that’s happened to put it in context, and determine what adjustments need to be made. Regular self-reflection allows me to mine the newly-written parts of my life story for jewels that I can use to keep creating better and better storylines.

My Daily Self-Reflection Practices

I use some combination of the following on a daily basis:

• writing,

• voice notes,

• meditation,

• quiet thinking,

• listening to self-development podcasts

• reading an essay or listening to speeches (e.g., Ted talks)] 

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So, let’s recap the steps to taking a story-based approach to goal-setting:

1. Define Your Main Character

2. Understand the Backstory

3. Outline the Plot

4. Write, Then Edit

While it’s a bit more detailed than traditional goal-setting, I think that the outcome of the story-based approach is much more meaningful and makes me way more excited to pursue my goals.

Next, I’ll share the steps I use to turn my Life Value Map into a ‘neverending story’ that makes me feel like an overachiever even when I don’t accomplish any of the goals I originally set.

Using Stories for Goal-Setting and Life Planning: Outlining the Plot

Now, it’s finally time to begin plotting the story – what is the quest that the main character will go on? What will she encounter on her journey? What dangers and perils await her?

This step is similar to traditional goal-setting, but it’s placed within the context of an overarching life story.

To begin outlining my life story’s plot, I start by asking myself the following questions.

Questions for Outlining My Life Story

What do I want?

•  Who do I want to be?

•  What change do I want to see in myself? In the world?

•  Who do I want to help?

•  What problem(s) do I want to solve / fix? What wrongs do I want to right?

•  What do I want to leave behind?

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The Powerful Woman Wheel

I created the Powerful Woman Wheel as a way to define the areas of life that a powerful black woman (versus a strong black woman) would focus on. Since, ‘becoming a powerful woman’ is one of the key quests of my life story, I use the Powerful Woman Wheel to help define the main categories of my life story.

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Who / what is going to help me?

• Mentors, role modes

• Right associations

• Centering practices / beliefs (big why)

Who / what is going to stop me?

• Shadow self

• Vices

• Unresolved trauma responses; attachment issues

• Wrong associations

What lesson(s) do I want to learn?

Before my story is finished, I want to be able to say:

• I’ve mastered…

• I’ve studied…

• I’ve learned…

• I know something about…

How far can I go?

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A MORE SIMPLE METHOD: Instead of answering all of the questions above, I can draft a pretty good life story outline by asking myself, ‘How do I feed my ‘X'-factors’ ?’ My X-factors are the personal archetypes that I uncovered while defining my main character. They are also included in my Declaration of Self.

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The Life Value Map

I wanted a way to keep my answers to the life story outline questions close at hand. Something that would act as a living ‘map’ that I could refer to regularly and that I could quickly and easily add new quests, adventures and story elements to over time.

Borrowing from agile project management, the Life Value Map is like a backlog of all the things I want to do in life - a running list of my goals, dreams and visions - organized in a kanban board layout.

I use the categories from the Powerful Woman Wheel as my column headers and I add the answers to the life story outline questions under the relevant column(s).

I prefer to keep my life value map in a digital project management tool like Trello or Asana. This makes it accessible anytime and anywhere. Which means I can always use it to add new items to my life story outline.

Next: Write, then Edit

Using Stories for Goal-Setting and Life Planning: Understanding the Backstory

After defining my story’s main character – her traits, qualities, strengths and struggles, the next step to crafting my personal story is to define my main character’s backstory.

That is, what are the most recent and / or the most relevant events that have occurred in my main character’s life? What brought the main character to this moment, to the current situation or state of affairs?

For this, I took a day over winter break and did my own year-end-review. I made a written list of all of the major or meaningful moments from the past year that I could remember. I scrolled through social media posts and pictures on my phone to help me recall some of the moments I’d forgotten.

I probably could have done this exercise in less than a day, but I allowed extra time for sentimentality and emotional segues and side roads I tend to wander down when reflecting on the past.

Storytelling and Letter-Writing as Backstory Exercises

Earlier in the year, I’d also done a couple of storytelling exercises that helped me clarify my backstory.

One was a series of recorded interviews with my grandmother. By listening to her stories, I could see how my own life story was a continuation of hers and how much I could draw from her story to help shape my own.

[NEW YORK TIMES Article: Record and Share Your Family History in 5 Steps ]

The second was a letter-writing exercise in the book, ‘Write Yourself Into Your Dreams’. The book guides its readers through a process for unpacking unhealed trauma and unresolved inner conflict with one’s parents.

Though I was initially skeptical of the process, it was surprisingly impactful and helped me to offload some emotional baggage that the main character of my soon-to-be-written life story did not need to be carrying around.

[PSYCHOLOGY TODAY Article: Transactional Writing: Letters That Heal]

[SNAILED WITH LOVE: Letter Writing to Create Connections]

Next: Outlining the Plot

Using Stories for Goal-Setting and Life Planning: Defining The Main Character

Whether I’m working on a project or writing a story, the first thing I do is identify the key players, aka, the main character(s).

Before I began this year’s goal-setting, I spent several days (5, to be exact) doing some self-assessment. For this, I relied on a few personality assessments, a values inventory exercise, and an in-depth review of my natal chart.

Even though I’d taken most of these self-assessments previously, I still found it extremely useful to review and remind myself of the natural gifts and talents that I’m working with before I began writing my story.

Learn More About Each of The Self-Assessments

• Natal Chart

• Typefinder (MBTI)

• Enneagram

• Life Values Inventory

• StrengthsFinder

Since each of these assessments provides a lot of information to wade through, I came up with a way to condense the key insights from all of them into a mini-manifesto. I call it my ‘Declaration of Self’.

The Declaration of Self acts as a sort of over-arching intention that drives and motivates my life story’s main character. Regularly reviewing and reciting this intention statement will help re-energize my main character and keep her focused when the journey gets rough or there’s a lack of clarity.

In a future post, I’ll share the exact method I use to turn the results of my self-assessment into my Declaration of Self - so you can create your own!

Next: Understanding My Backstory

How I Use Stories for Personal Goal-Setting and Life Planning

I don’t know about you, but goals haven’t been working for me lately.

To be honest, goals haven’t been working for me… ever.

In the past, my personal goal-setting pattern has looked something like:

• set a goal that’s ‘SMART’

• Start down the path of pursuing the goal

• Get some early wins and feel extremely motivated by my own commitment and initial action,

Then… life starts happening. Work gets crazy, or I have trouble in one of my primary relationships. Or, maybe my ‘shiny object syndrome’ kicks in and a new more exciting or more urgent goal pops up. I start losing momentum, promising myself that I’m going to get back on track. But weeks pass, maybe months, and I may completely forget about the original goal or decide that it wasn’t really that important to begin with.

So, this year, I decided to take a different approach. Instead of starting with goals (aka, the trees), I decided to start with a story (aka, the forest).

I’m a big picture thinker, so context and the larger story are always important to me. When solving problems at work, I usually start by getting an understanding of the systems, people, and structures surrounding the problem or challenge, because that’s… what a good consultant does.

So why not take the same approach for my personal life?

Next: Defining My Life Story’s Main Character

work is play – what I learned from kickball

When I get the opportunity to work with larger, corporate clients I often hesitate, even cringe. My main reason for deciding to pursue a non-traditional career was because most corporate cultures are just too dysfunctional for my tastes. Bad behavior, internal politics, and power plays are often rampant in corporate environments, and no matter how long I usually succeed in avoiding them, I eventually either get pulled into them or fed up with them. Besides, I have my health to consider. Even though corporate gigs tend to pay well and offer more perqs, what good is it if I’m increasing my stress and blood pressure in the process? In short, I’m not dying to work.

Which is why I often prefer to work as an independent contractor (aka, freelancer). As an independent, I’m essentially a company of one, so any dysfunction is all my own. I can deal with that. But the downside is that, as a freelancer, I usually work alone. In my home office. With no one else for company other than the voices in my head.

As entertaining as those voices are, I like working with other people. Especially if they’re smart and talented. There’s something very motivating, inspiring, and well… fun about working on a common objective with people who have the talent and the drive to make it happen with you. I guess you could say, I like working with people who take their work seriously but don’t take themselves seriously.

That’s the basis of my primary philosophy about work: ‘work is play’.

I tend to view work very similar to the way I viewed recess in elementary and middle school. Back then, the playground game of choice for me and my classmates was kickball. We’d play every day without fail. It was less a game, and more like a recurring chapter in the ongoing daily saga of our pre-teen lives. Two people would be appointed team captains, and the captains would choose teams, making sure each team had a couple of really good kickers, a pitcher, at least 1 person with a good throwing arm, and some really, really fast runners. Once the teams were decided, the rules of play were agreed to – no bunting; you have to tag somebody out, not hit them with the ball; the foul zone was between the edge of the pavement and the monkey bars. Eventually, play would begin. Each game had its high points and low points, conflicts and petty arguments. There would be hilarious moments when something ridiculously funny would happen, and when recess ended, we’d recount the game’s highlights long after that day’s winner and loser had been decided.

Reflecting on those playground sessions has helped me realize some important facts about work and working that I consider fundamental principles of my ‘work is play’ philosophy. Namely:

The best teams have a diverse mix of people.

If everyone on the team were the same type of player, it wouldn’t be much of a team. The teams that I’ve had the most fun with and learned the most from were those that were made up of people with backgrounds, cultures, and interests quite different from my own. Besides, it makes water cooler conversations a treat, to say the least.

Be clear about the rules can you live with / without.

In kickball, some of the rules were standard for the game itself, others evolved as we played the game repeatedly. It’s only by playing a few games that you get a feel for which rules you prefer and which ones you absolutely have to have. I tend to prefer working in situations where the rules of play aren’t as rigid as most. Flexible work hours, casual attire, a short commute – these are some ‘rules’ I prefer, but aren’t absolute deal-breakers. But frequent travel, lack of autonomy, and weekends in the office are work rules that just don’t work for me.

It’s just a game.

Play stops being fun when games are taken too seriously. The game is a part of life. It isn’t life itself. You are not a great person because you are a great kickball player, anymore than you are a great person because you are a high-level executive. The position you hold in the game is not the source of your power or strength or worth. It is the qualities and traits that you bring to the position. If and when the game ends, you will still possess the qualities and traits that make you who you are. In short, the game should neither consume nor define you.

The game can go on without you.

You don’t always have to be in the game. I remember a period during middle school when, instead of playing during recess, I would sit by myself and read or write in my journal. This went on for months. Then one day, I decided I’d had enough and went back to play. Not much had changed with the game since the last time I’d played, and I returned to the daily routine as if I’d never left. It’s okay to sit out a few rounds, if you need and want to. Take time away from the game to do something for yourself, with yourself, or by yourself – especially if it’s something that will make you a better player when you return to the team. Not only can the game go on without you, but you can go on without the game.

After-game reflection is almost as important as the game itself.

Conflict was an inevitable part of almost every playground kickball game. Occasionally, tempers would flare so high that there would still be tension after recess was over. Fortunately, the class immediately following recess was one in which our teacher would take time to help us work through any unresolved issues. Because our class was so small and close-knit, it was important that our relationships remained intact. Our teacher (a truly wise woman), gently forced us to reflect on our own behavior and that of our classmates, so we could grow in our understanding of each other, and ultimately go back to play another day. Taking time to reflect after every job or project is essential. It gives me the chance to assess how well I performed, what I might do differently next time, and what lessons I learned from any conflicts or issues that arose during play. After-game reflection is the #1 way to get better each time you play.

When I think back on those childhood kickball games, I realize that all of those playground maneuverings, all of the wins and the losses, and the occasional accidental injuries were teaching us how to work together, how to navigate relationships, and how to achieve a common goal with a group of not-so-common people. For me, work serves the same purpose – it’s the ‘playground’ where I show up to contribute my talents, to learn something, and to have fun in the process.

Once you’re able to approach your work with the mindset of play, you open up the potential for some serious learning experiences, simply by not taking everything so seriously. In work as on the playground, you have the ultimate say in what game you’re playing and what rules you play by.

2 weeks notice

I pretty much began to consider leaving my job, oh…about 26 minutes after I started working here. But I decided that it’d be better to stick it out and see what I could get out of the place before I made my resume look like I have ADD. Anyway, a recent series of fortunate events have opened up an opportunity for me to work in (what I hope will be) greener pastures, so I’ve finally made the decision to switch plantat…er, i mean jump ship.

 The problem with the whole 2-week notice thing is that once you let everyone know that you’re a short-timer, you’re immediately seized by this listless, languorous feeling that is a direct side effect of knowing that you’re no longer on the hook to perform, just to show up. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s awfully hard to keep up the façade of being a hard worker, when you know nobody cares anyway.

Well, tomorrow is officially my last day, so on this, the eve of my departure, I’ve decided to take some time to reflect on the last 10 days . Read: I’ve pretty much run out of other ways to goof off. 😀

Day 10
• In keeping with the 2-week protocol, today I informed exactly 6 people – my boss, the HR lady, and 4 of my regular lunch / water-cooler buddies – of my decision.
• My boss lets me know that, after tomorrow, he’ll be out of the office for the next 2 weeks. I am convinced I’m being rewarded for some good deed in a former life.
• For the rest of the day I traipse around the office like Michael J. Fox in that montage from ‘Secret of My Success’ where ‘Walking on Sunshine’ is playing in the background.

Day 9, I mean 8
• About 5 minutes after I get to my desk this morning, my boss stops by and asks if he can speak to me in private. He does so in a tone that would have me fearing for my job, if I hadn’t already quit. In the ensuing conversation, he basically asks me if I could quit a day early. I can’t disclose his reason for asking here, but suffice it to say, the whole exchange reaffirms that my decision to leave this gig couldn’t have come at a better time.
• Today, no less than 20 people know about my imminent departure – none of them heard the news from me. It’s an interesting affirmation of the power of viral marketing, to say the least.

Day 7
• Given yesterday’s exchange with my boss, I have an even worse taste in my mouth about this place. I spend a significant amount of time brooding on all the reasons I loathe it.

• The lady that sits directly on the other side of my cube burps. Loudly – and often. She’s also prone to whinnying like a horse for no apparent reason.

• The gentleman that sits behind the gassy woman has frequent bouts of upper respiratory congestion. He clears it out by coughing loud enough to wake the dead and then spits the results into his trashcan.

• The vending machine contains 3 types of skittles. The damned red bag is always in front- I hate the red bag.

• We use Lotus Notes for email (I feel dirty just admitting that).

• The PMO – my own personal Gestapo 🙂

• On all of my projects and in almost all of my meetings, I am the only African-American. Out of maybe 15 offices in the building, 2 are occupied by females. There are roughly 12 people in the building that hold Director-level or above positions – none are minorities, none are female. Can we say: glass ceiling?

• To celebrate individuals who’ve made ‘significant contributions’, the company rewards them with – drum roll please – a Lego block.

Day 6
• I take small pleasure in the fact that I no longer have to slip my copy of “The 4-Hour Workweek” into my desk drawer for fear that somebody might read one of the sensational, subversive statements on the cover, like: “Warning: Don’t read this book unless you want to quit your job”
• I officially inform all of the project teams that I manage that I’m leaving. I also inform them that I will not be in the office tomorrow. The development manager looks like I just peed on her sock.
• Other people are starting to look at me like the little green aliens from Toy Story – like I’ve been chosen by…’THE CLAAAAW’!

Day 5
• I am not thinking of my (new or old) job. I am on vacation.

 Day 4
• Despite my most gallant efforts, I can’t seem to get to work any earlier than 10:45 am.
• My major to-do’s today are a 1 o’clock meeting and clearing off my desk décor, which consists of:

• Two framed pages full of quotes from Lao Tzu and Buddha

• A small transparent glass globe / paperweight with the word ‘wisdom’ affixed to the back

• Another frame with a story from Winnie the pooh that I use to remind me not to take my job too seriously.

• Three post-its with the following hand-written self-reminders:

  • Travel Light, Live Light, Spread Light, Be the Light

  • A Clean Desk is the Sign of a Sick Mind

  • Chickens Aren’t Eagles

• A flurry of papers and folders that could be deposited into the trash bin with one sweep of my hand

Day 3
• Today I managed to make it in by 10am. However, I don’t see any point in staying past 4pm.
• Everything between 10 and 4 is a complete and total blank…. I’m not even sure I showed up today – maybe it was a very vivid dream.

Day 2
• Today’s major to-do: Compose my official farewell email to send off to all the people I’ve worked with over the last year and 10 months.

Day 1
• Today my boss called me from his vacation / surgery recuperation to see if I could track down the source of some gross mis-communication about one of the projects I’m working on. Um yeeah, I’m all over that one…LOL!
• The offshore QA liaison on one of my projects asked me in a half-panicked voice: ‘So you’re not going to be at the meeting on Monday?’ I now have a vague understanding of how weaning mothers must feel.

Day 0 (daaaaayyy-ohhh. daylight come and me waaaan go home…. sorry, couldn’t resist)
• Highlights of the day include: the going-away luncheon, the exit interview, and the surrendering of company materials. It’s my busiest day this week!

7 things to do the day after getting fired

Canned. Sacked. Let go. Forcibly retired. Getting fired, no matter what sweet-sounding name you try to pin on it, is still a pretty bitter experience. Even if you’re expecting it to happen (or you’ve been secretly praying for it to happen), nothing ever quite prepares you for the day you get fired.

Yet, in our continually uncertain economy, getting fired is an experience that more and more people are having to deal with. Naturally, most people react to a firing in an emotional way – with tears, anger, idle threats, feelings of isolation or low self-worth. But the 24 hours after you’ve been fired is not the time to be paralyzed by emotion, it’s the time for some very simple actions that can pay off big in the long run. You can always come back to the 5 stages of grief later.

the 5 Stages of Grief, by Jack Donaghy

Here are 7 suggestions for what to do the day after your last day on the job.

Tell Everyone

Though shame and embarrassment at losing your job might make you want to keep the whole mess a secret, don’t. Think of it this way: if nobody knows you’ve been fired, nobody will know you’re available for new opportunities. A quick email message (or tweet or Facebook post) to your network of friends and associates saying something like, “Guess what guys, I’m looking for employment again,” followed by a very brief, very clear description of what kind of employment you’d prefer, could work wonders. Many of those people that you tell will likely reach out to ask for more details. Resist the temptation to go into a long diatribe about what an evil cad your now ex-boss was, or how you never liked that filth-flarn company anyway. There will be much time for ranting in the days to come. When pressed for more deets, simply say, “I’m not in a space where I can talk about it right now, we’ll have to get together soon so I can tell you all the gory details. But if you can keep an eye out for (fabulous next job I’m looking for), I’d really appreciate it.”

Ask for Recommendations

Even if you were fired for less than stellar performance, there’s probably at least one person you worked with who actually liked you and the work you did. Instead of avoiding them like the plague, reach out and ask for a quick letter of recommendation. Or better yet, send them a LinkedIn request, so they can put their glowing recommendation of you on the interwebs for the whole world to see. Wait. You do have a LinkedIn account, right?

Get LinkedIn

If you don’t already have a profile on LinkedIn, shame on you. I’m sure it’s because you were so busy with work before that you didn’t have time to get it done. Well, now that that’s no longer a problem, it’s the perfect time for you to create or update your LinkedIn profile. Search for and make connections with your now-former coworkers. Consider this the part of the job loss chapter that you get to write yourself. You decide which characters you want to continue in the story, and how you express what your experience was like.

Update your resume

Even if you don’t intend to start looking for a new job right away, it’s best to update your resume while the details of your last position and accomplishments are still fresh in your mind. You may even consider putting up a free or inexpensive website to post your skills, your resume and examples of your work.

File for unemployment

Labor and employment laws differ for every state. And if you were fired for misconduct or negligence, you may not qualify to receive unemployment benefits. But it never hurts to try. Even if you and your former employer disagree about the reason for your termination, you may be able to appeal an initial denial of unemployment benefits.

Schedule some coffee dates

The unexpected change of routine that comes with a job loss can be a bit jarring. You’re probably used to getting up, getting dressed and going somewhere at the same time every day. The day after you get canned, reach out to a few friends and schedule at least 2-3 coffee or lunch dates for the following week. That way, your daily routine won’t be totally obliterated, and you won’t be tempted to hide in your house like it’s a dark cave of emotion. Plus, when you meet with your friend, you’ll get to vent, rant, ask for advice and suggestions, or receive a much needed dose of cheer.

Write your own training plan

Take some time to envision what sort of job or position you want next. Spend an hour or so searching on Careerbuilder, Monster and other job hunting sites for job descriptions that are similar the position you want. This will allow you to see what sort of skills or certifications are preferred for those roles, and which ones you may need to brush up on. Make a list of 2-3 classes you want to take, certifications you want to pursue, or professional skills that you want to improve upon. In the coming days (or weeks or months), your new job will be to find and complete training classes, self-directed projects, or pro-bono gigs that will prepare you for your next job.

Let’s be honest, it is statistically probable that you’re going to get fired at some point in your life. Your reason for being terminated may not even be your fault. And even if it is your fault, it isn’t the end of the world. Life goes on. You learn from the experience, pick yourself up, and move on to the next chapter. You aren’t the only one this has happened to, and you certainly won’t be the last. By taking small, immediate actions you’ll go a long way in dispelling the feelings of powerlessness that may come with a job loss. And by taking those actions you’ll remind yourself that, in the end, you are the only one responsible for your career destiny.

8 steps for turning your craft into a career

Your day job is what pays the bills. So you get up every day and go to work faithfully. But secretly (or maybe not-so-secretly), you harbor a passion for some other work – your craft – that one thing you feel like you were destined to do with your life. The only problem is, if you were to jump head first into pursuing your passion, you might not be able to keep the lights on. So, maybe you should just give up on that dream of yours, right?

Wrong. If you’re focused and willing to put forth a little extra effort, there’s a way for you to make it happen. While there’s no guaranteed path to success, here are 8 steps that will undoubtedly help you transform your part-time hobby into a full-time career.

1. Educate Yourself – Either enroll in a paid course or do some targeted self-study. Buy books and read articles in industry publications. You need to get very smart about the history, and current and future trends of the work you want to do. Is there a viable market for what you want to do? Also, get a feel for what goes on behind-the-scenes of the craft – those things that you’ll have to do that aren’t necessarily related to the craft itself. For instance, if you want to be a writer, you need to learn how to write pitch letters. If you want to be a musician, you might need to learn about putting together a press kit or music copyright law. Find out what average salaries or pay rates are in the field. This step alone may make you second guess your decision to pursue your craft as a full-time career.

2. Carve Out a Niche – How do you do your work differently? Are your products and services for a certain type of person or audience? What can you do with your work that’s totally unique? Develop your own persona, your own set of offerings that’s just a little bit different than what’s already out there.

3. Build a Resume – Whether you want to work your craft as an employee or as a business owner, you’ll need to show that you’re experienced. Early on you may not have a lot to put on a resume, so seek out volunteer or non-paying opportunities that will give you that experience. Look at previous jobs that may have required you to use the same skills, even though you might not have had the exact title. If you have the time and energy, consider moonlighting or taking some one-off projects or a part-time gig in the field you’re looking to break into.

4. Join a Flock – Seek out a trade association, industry organization, or just a network of people who are doing the same work. Be active, ask a lot of questions, let people know that you’re trying to break in to the industry, ask for ways you can lend your talents to the group, offer to take people out to coffee, to collaborate with them on their next project. Above all, be genuine with this group. They’ll be like your new family.

5. Tell Everyone – Tell everyone you know – friends, family, former co-workers, the guy who makes your coffee at the corner café – about your ‘new’ line of work. This is for two reasons: 1) so you get comfortable claiming your new career, and 2) so people you know start seeing you as this person. Ideally, you should get some self-promotion tools in place – business cards, a website or blog – so you can showcase your talent to the world.

6. Define Your Prey – Clearly define who your target customer is or what type of organization you want to work for. How far are you willing to travel? How many hours do you want to work? What types of people do you want to work with? What kind of salary are you willing to accept? Get clear about what it is you’re actually looking for, and then…

7. Go Hunting – Talk to contacts in your network that can introduce you to your target clients. Hang out in places where your clients hang out (be sure to bring your self-promotion items with you), meet people and follow up with them, even if it’s just for personal reasons. This step is about building the relationships that will get you closer to your ideal client or type of work.

8. Be Patient Persistent – If you’re lucky, you may achieve success overnight. If you’re patient, you’ll wait as long as it takes for success to come to you. But if you’re persistent, you’ll realize that it takes both time and consistent effort for you to reach a desired level of success, and you’ll continue to do the work required to meet your goals.