5 things you should know before taking a big leap in life

If you’re preparing to take a big leap in your life or career, here are a few mindful tips to help you get your head right for the adventure ahead.

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The trick for dealing with change?

Embracing what it can teach you. This, of course, is easier than it sounds. Fear and doubt always seem to show up whenever you’re thinking of making a major life change. An endless loop of worries and worst-case scenarios play in your mind. This ‘monkey mind’ loop can keep you chasing your own thoughts down a spiral of anxiety, and ultimately, inaction. more>

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Telling your own story is an essential life skill.

When you define yourself for yourself and become the writer of your own story, life’s major changes, setbacks or shifts become one-of-a-kind opportunities for you to evolve from victim to hero. more>

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Taking a big leap involves risk.

A risk of failure, of looking silly, of hurting yourself. Big leaps involve stepping out into the unknown. Going off the one-size-fits-all plan. They require you to trust yourself more than you ever have. They are an exercise in faith. more>

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Personal mastery is the reward for overcoming fear…

…shifting your mindset from ‘one-size-fits-all’ and taking worthwhile risks.

It all starts with the small, everyday habits and behaviors you practice BEFORE you take a big leap, make a major life change or face an unexpected life challenge. Until you ‘get your mind right’, your potential for growth and self-mastery will be limited. more>

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Your work and relationships are a reflection of what you think of yourself.

As you evolve, the way you relate to your job and to the people in your life - family, friends, significant other - will evolve too. At some point, you may feel the need to graduate. This can be a literal leaving behind or a ‘leveling up’ of the way you engage and the effort and energy you give to these experiences.

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IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR FUTURE

CHANGE YOUR STORY.

Write your next chapter with a story-based strategic framework that evolves as you do.

Declaration of Self: How to Create Your Personal Manifesto

I recently completed a 5-day self-directed, self-clarity exercise.

Each day, I took one of the following self-assessments designed to reveal insights about my personality and natural talents:

• Natal chart

• Typefinder

• Enneagram

• Life Values Inventory

• StrengthsFinder

On the 6th day, I did a final self-clarity exercise where I perused the Ultimate list of Archetypes and selected the top 3 archetypes that fit me best.

On the 7th day… I rested. :)

Mainly because at the end of all of that self assessing, I was swimming in self-information.

And… I’m not that strong of a swimmer.

So - I set out to create something that would let me assemble all of this self-information into a statement I could actually USE to keep myself focused and afloat in times of uncertainty, difficulty or great change.

The result: My Declaration of Self.

It’s like my personal manifesto or mission statement - a declaration to myself and to the world of WHO I AM and WHY I’M HERE.

Here’s how I crafted it.

How I Created My Personal Manifesto, aka, MY Declaration of Self

Based on what I know of each of the self-assessments and what they were designed to tell me about myself - for instance, the Enneagram tells me about my ego and how I face challenges; the ascendant sign in my natal chart tells me what role others usually see me as playing - I drafted the template below.

Each self-assessment provided a result that was very similar to an archetype or that could be translated into an archetype.

WHAT IS AN ARCHETYPE?

I like to think of an archetype as a symbol or a character. Archetypes represent known patterns of behavior, a set of personal characteristics that can be summed up in a single word.

Watch MY IGTV VIDEO on ‘Defining Yourself with Archetypes’ for more on how I define and use archetypes.

By translating my assessment results into corresponding archetypes, I was able to come up with a list of words that could be plugged into my templated statement, mad-libs style.

Finding the Archetypes  for my natal chart signs and houses

To get the zodiac sign archetypes for my Sun, Ascendant, North Node, South Node and Moon signs, I relied on Kathryn Hocking’s 12 Archetypes of the Zodiac. You can find it here: https://kathrynhocking.com/the-12-archetypes-of-the-zodiac/

 

To get the house meanings for my North and South Nodes, I used the Zodiac House meanings from Labyrinthos. You can find them here: https://labyrinthos.co/blogs/astrology-horoscope-zodiac-signs/tagged/houses

The final outcome was my personal Declaration of Self:

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create Your Own personal manifesto

New Year, New Story!

New year, new me! 

It’s a phrase we hear a lot at the start of a new calendar year. What it means: we’re ready to summon the newest and best version of ourselves to begin the year ahead. The funny thing is, the ‘new me’ that we think of, aka, the evolved self, is usually revealed at the end of a journey, not at the start of one.

So, I think the more fitting proclamation would be: New year, new story!

Your story is the process of transformation, aka, the journey, that brings about the new you. 

Goals motivate us. Goals give us something to strive for. An accomplishment to go after. But stories inspire us. Stories give us something to live by. Stories transform us and provide meaning.

So, why are we not writing stories at the start of a new year instead of goals?

The good news is: When it comes to planning your year, or your life, you can write pretty much whatever story you like...

... as long as you know how.

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Ready to Write your Story?

Want a peek at how I use stories for New Year’s goal-setting? Click below to learn more about my 4-step process.

How I Use Stories for Personal Goal-Setting and Life Planning

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First, select your destination.

Where do you want to go? 

What’s the biggest / most important goal you have right now?

Who do you want to be when you grow up?

These are big questions. Questions we tend to ask ourselves at times like this. Transition times. Times of shift or change. 

So, if you’re like me, you’ve been asking yourself these questions lately. But you may be finding it hard to come up with the answers.

Not because the answers are hard, but because they are overwhelming. The options are so many, the potential for messing up so great, the lack of clarity on how to get from here to there is surprisingly intimidating. 

““I want to get there,” you think.

 

“But I don’t want to bumble around in the dark, tripping over my feet and looking awkward. I just want to arrive at my destination...”

 

“...as soon as I can figure out exactly where it is that I’m going.”

 

“I just know I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m ready... but for what? Where?””

Look. I’ve been there. In a state of wanting to go, but not knowing where to go, so choosing to stay put despite the current circumstances not being ideal.

You know what that’s called? 

Inertia.

Aka, stuck.

But, the universe has a way of nudging us forward.

And now - at least according to those of us who study astrology - is one of those times that the universe is about to give all of us a big nudge.

In preparation for this ‘season of shift’, I’ve compiled a short series of audio recordings to help set the tone and get myself (and you!) ready to make the most of this time.

{ Listen to the first audio recording now }

These audio clips can be listened to while sitting quietly sipping your morning coffee, taking a walk or folding the laundry. Listen to them all in one sitting or over the next couple of days.

• Audio 1: Leaving Somewhere Is Not Going Somewhere

• Audio 2: So What’s The Big Deal With Dec 21, 2020?

• Audio 3: The 2 Things You MUST Have Before Making A Major Life Change

• Audio 4: Self-Development As Magic

Consider them your boarding pass as we begin the journey into a new season, a new year and a new age... the so-called ‘age of Aquarius’.

Boarding starts soon.

Issue my boarding pass!

Enter your email address to get your pass. Get instant access to the audio series. And get ready to make a big shift.

what the wizard of oz can teach you about business

“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”

That’s got to be my favorite line from the beloved Hollywood movie classic, The Wizard of Oz. I’ve heard and used the phrase a hundred times or more, but just the other day I caught the movie on TV, and got a totally new insight from the scene in which The Great Oz is exposed as just a regular man. The Great Oz, it dawned on me, fell into the same trap that many small business owners do.

Heavy emphasis on marketing, not nearly enough on infrastructure. Think about it. Everyone in Oz – from Munchkins to Flying Monkeys – knows who the Wizard is. He’s got Glenda the Good Witch sending him referrals out the wazoo. And not once when Dorothy mentions, “I’m going to see the Wizard of Oz”, does anyone reply “Who?” Obviously, his Ozness has got one helluva marketing strategy if he’s that well known in a place that’s full of so many other colorful characters.

He’s also got a pretty good brand image that emphasizes exclusivity (no one gets in to see the Great Oz, you know) and dazzling opulence. But as soon as customers come seeking his service, it all starts to fall apart. First, the great and powerful Oz makes them jump through hoops to get his service (What? You don’t take credit cards? You’ve got no website? You’re only open every other Tuesday? It only works on a PC? I gotta kill a wicked witch to get an appointment?). And even once his customers have completed the extremely difficult task he asks of them, he stalls for time. “Come back tomorrow,” he says. “I know I said that if you did this, then I could meet your need, but…”.

Time and time again, I see businesses of all sizes spend a fortune in time and money on creating beautiful presentation and packaging for their business, generating a lot of buzz and publicity, and subsequently falling flat on their faces or driving themselves insane with work, when the customers hit the door and they realize they’ve got to deliver on the unrealistic expectations their marketing created.

So, am I saying that you shouldn’t do a great job of marketing and branding your business? Nope, not at all. But I am saying:

Your marketing and promotions should match your infrastructure. If you’re marketing to the world that you make the biggest and baddest widgets on the block or that you’re the premier, most exclusive this-that-or-the-other, then dammit, you’d better have the infrastructure to back it up, or someone’s going to call shenanigans on you.

Only promise what you can deliver. Better yet: underpromise, and over-deliver. Don’t tell your potential customers that you can get their product to them in 2 -days, when you know it could take 3 or 4, or even 2 and a half days. If you think it’ll take 2 days, tell them it’ll take 3, and surprise them with the good news. Set realistic expectations, and meet or exceed them every time.

It’s ok to have limitations, just be sure to reveal them upfront. You’re a small business. Everybody knows it. There’s no shame in having a limitation here or there. You’ll be surprised how forgiving people can be if you just tell them (yes, even in your marketing) about your limitations, and let them know how you’re working to improve.

It’s not ok to have the same limitations forever. If you’ve been giving the same “we’re working to improve” line to your customers for years, eventually they’re going to get tired of hearing it. They will expect more of you. And you should expect more of yourself. Spend the time and effort to stabilize your infrastructure, or if you don’t know where to start, ask for help.

The moral of the story is: The hoodoo, magic, pomp, and circumstance of over-the-top marketing might make you a popular little business, but you’ll need to pay some attention to what’s going on behind the curtain to be a successful little business.

The good news is… you probably already have everything you need. Some brains, a lot of heart, and a little bit of courage.

And a pair of sparkly red pumps wouldn’t hurt either.

how to do the impossible

“It always seems impossible until it’s done." ~ Nelson Mandela

When a group of friends comes to you and says that they’ve found a great deal on a 2-hour private Mediterranean boat cruise and want to know if you’re in, you say yes. You don’t think about the fact that you swim like a rock and are therefore mildly terrified of deep water without a pool’s edge or lifeguard in sight to cling to. You simply say yes. Because it’s summer. It’s southern Spain. And it’s what you do.

So when you subsequently find yourself scared shitless on a sailboat off the coast of Malaga on a blazing hot summer day with half of that group of friends taking turns diving from the boat into the water and playfully splashing about, and the other half shouting for you to jump in and join them, you’ve got a choice to make. Do you:

1. Disregard the mind-numbing fear that’s gripping you, your bowels that keep threatening to loosen on you, and your lack of strong swimming skills, and take the plunge? Or,

2. Act like a sensible person and say, “No thanks, guys, just gonna stay on board and make sure the chips don’t get soggy,” and miss the opportunity to add ‘swam in the Mediterranean’ to your list of ‘have you evers’?

If there’s anything I loathe more than the fear of ending up in a watery grave, it’s the fear of missing out on a chance to make an amazing memory. So, after watching my friends enjoy themselves for a few moments longer, I walked to the edge of the boat and stood there peering down into the water, hoping I’d be able to will myself into doing the impossible.

How to Do the Impossible

Find your motivation (aka, ‘the push’)

What is the one thing that makes you feel like you can’t not do this? The one thing that makes the impossible task looming in front of you seem like something you must attempt, even if you don’t prove to be successful at it? This is the thing that will give you that initial push that you need to get started with an impossible task, and will keep fueling your fire to see it through to the end. In almost every situation, that push will come from one of the following:

Naysayers

Years earlier, I was faced with a similarly impossible moment. I was at the famed Rick’s Café in Jamaica, nervously waiting my turn to jump off of one of the surrounding cliffs into the cool blue waters below (I know, I know. For someone who can’t swim well, I jump into deep water an awful lot). I wasn’t even sure if was actually going to jump. I waved 2 or 3 others ahead of me, while I continued to work up the nerve. Just as I was starting to talk myself out of it, one of the guys who’d seen me around the resort that I was staying at, sauntered up and took a seat on a rock off to the side of the diving ‘platform’. He took one look at my terror-stricken face and started playfully chiding me, telling me that I wasn’t going to jump, that I was too scared, that I should just walk back down and join my friends at the bar. It turns out that someone telling me that I couldn’t, was all the motivation I needed to realize that I could. When my detractor was right in the middle of one of his wisecracks, I ran to the edge of the cliff and jumped. Geronimo, ho.

NECESSITY

You’ve heard the stories of people who’ve rushed into a burning building or displayed superhuman strength to save someone they love in a moment of disaster. What makes those miraculous feats possible is a certain type of necessity. A necessity brought about by the fear of an outcome that is worse than or would cause more suffering than the impossible thing to be done. The avoidance of pain or suffering is a powerful motivator, and can make you completely suspend the notion that you can’t do a thing. After my Rick’s Café cliff jump, I hit the water so hard that my watch – which I’d forgotten to remove – came off and began to float away from me as I sank beneath the surface. The watch was a treasured gift from a dear friend, and I was damned if I was going to let the Caribbean claim it. In that moment, I completely forgot to remember that I couldn’t swim well. My panic at being in a big body of water was replaced by the panic of potentially losing my watch, and before I could think, I’d swum my way up to retrieve it and over to the bottom of the cliff where I extracted my beloved watch and my beloved self from the water.

TRAGEDY

Sometimes a personal life tragedy and the long, slow pressure cooker of time is what you need to accomplish a seemingly impossible feat – like this guy who went from Homer Simpson to hotbody in one year after a breakup with his girlfriend. Tragedy and adversity often gives us a reason to fight and a willingness to win – or at least, persevere – despite impossible odds.

CHEERLEADERS / ROLE MODELS

Things don’t seem nearly as impossible when you’ve got a friend or few by your side cheering you on, believing in you, and pledging to be there for you if and when things get dicey. Sometimes a support group and a gentle nudge is what you need to get started on an impossible task. While I was standing on the edge of that sailboat in the middle of the Mediterranean, still debating if I could jump, I heard my friends cheering me on and smiling from the water. “C’mon, Kisha! You can do it! Jump!” Surely these smiling, strong-swimming people wouldn’t let me drown, I thought to myself. They weren’t even pointing and laughing at how obviously scared I was. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I can do this.

FULLY COMMIT (AKA, ‘SH*T OR GET OFF THE POT’)

So you’ve found your motivation, but you’re still a little bit scared, you may even still be hemming and hawing about going through with this impossible feat. Nothing unusual about that. Fear doesn’t necessarily fade away simply because you’ve found a reason to face it. But if you’re still hesitating and reconsidering once you’ve started down the path toward the impossible, there’s a huge chance that you’re going to hurt yourself in the process. While motivation gives you the power to start an impossible thing, commitment is the thing within that says there is no stopping, no turning back, no giving in once you’ve started. Or, if you’ve decided to ‘get off the pot’, commitment prevents you from regretting that decision and continuing to beat yourself up about it.

VISUALIZE THE DESIRED OUTCOME

What’s the worst that could happen? Instead of letting that be just a rhetorical question, allow yourself to imagine the worst possible outcome – failure, embarrassment, physical pain, financial loss. Sit with that image for a while, try to feel the emotions attached to that outcome. Now, imagine the most desirable result. How would that feel? What would that look like? Spend more time filling out that image in your mind. See yourself swimming and playing with your friends in the water. See yourself not drowning, making it back to the boat and enjoying soggy chips with your friends as you sail off into the sunset, still laughing. Imagine yourself 1, 5, 10 years from now telling your kids the story of that one time when you swam in the Mediterranean despite the fact that you were scared to death. Then tell yourself that all the positive things you’ve just imagined can be real. All you have to do is….

ONCE IT’S DONE, DO IT AGAIN

You already know how my story ended, right? Of course you do. I eventually jumped off of the sailboat into the water on that sunny summer day in southern Spain. It was much, much colder and a lot less scary than I thought it would be. I splashed about in the sea, dodged several jellyfish undulating by, floated on my back (yay, saltwater!) and admired the cloudless sky above, and, when our little swimming pit stop was over, I climbed back onto the boat, proud of myself for having conquered my fear. We pulled up anchor, sailed off and headed back towards the shore. But just a few minutes later, my friends pleaded with the captain to stop the boat once more so we could take one final dip before heading back in. Once again, my intrepid friends dove fearlessly into the water. And, once again, I was struck with fear at the prospect of following them. Even though I had already jumped, here I was, moments later, just as scared as I was the first time. Even I was surprised at my lingering fear. Why was I still afraid? Hadn’t I already slayed this dragon? Doing the impossible once doesn’t necessarily make it any easier or less frightening to do the next time. My fear was still present and it was clouding my brain with irrational, but very convincing thoughts. What if I just got lucky the first time? What if it was just a fluke? What if I was about to let a false sense of confidence get me into trouble? Fear is not a rational thing. Which is why the only way to conquer it is to do what it says you can’t, and do it again and again and again. The fear may never fully disappear, but you will eventually learn to tune it out when it starts whispering its senseless nothings to you.

That day, I ignored my fear, and jumped. Twice. And once my friends and I were safely back on the shore and enjoying a few celebratory beers at the nearby beach, I confessed to one of them how scared I’d been because of my weak swimming ability.

“Whoa, that’s pretty awesome! I didn’t even know you couldn’t swim that well!” exclaimed my friend, before giving me an enthusiastic high-five. And at that moment, I realized a simple truth. Even if your attempt at the impossible is awkward, fumbled, ugly, causes you to shit your pants, lose money, lose friends, or get laughed at, going ahead and doing it anyway is infinitely better than the feeling of ‘what if’ or what might have been.

In short, doing the impossible – not necessarily being flawless at doing it – is the reward.

How have you overcome impossible feats in the past? Are there any big, impossible things you're afraid of that you need to go ahead and do anyway?