on desire
A word of wisdom: never trust someone who desires you.
They do not think rationally. It is much better to be admired, respected, or even cherished than to be desired.
When someone admires you, they tend to emulate you or at least honor who they perceive you to be.
If someone respects you, they generally won’t do anything to or around you that would decrease the amount of respect they have for you or you for them.
If someone cherishes you, they treat you like a precious thing, something that they consider worthwhile and have placed a high value on.
Yet if someone desires you, they will do anything to have you. At first, that may sound like a promising (or even profitable) situation to be in. But maybe not so much when you look at it for what it really is.
Have you ever heard someone say, “I was out of my mind with desire”? Conversely, have you ever heard someone say that they were out of their mind with admiration or respect?
The reason people say they’re out of their mind with desire is simple: unchecked desire makes you do things that, under normal circumstances, don’t make any sense at all. Things that run counter to every bit of logic or common sense you have in your body. Desire is an emotion that burns hot and fast, in direct opposition to the ‘cooler’ faculties of logic and common sense.
Desire seeks the attainment of a thing (or person or state) not the maintaining of that thing – which we all know is the more strenuous part of any endeavor. It requires more stamina, discipline, and commitment to see a thing through than it does to start a thing off. A few examples:
You desire a hot new car, but don’t consider the monthly payments and high maintenance costs
You desire a high-profile position, not considering the long hours and/or life sacrifices that come along with the new role
You desire enlightenment, but did not consider that it might mean letting go of the world to keep it
Am I saying that desire is a bad emotion that should be rooted out of you? No, of course not. I don’t believe that desire is bad.
In being the catalyst that makes us do the thing that we normally we would not, desire serves its purpose. Desire determines the direction we will head in, but gives no thought for what will truly be required for the journey. Its highly combustible nature creates enough energy to get us started, to launch us off on a particular course of action. But the unskilled person foolishly believes that the existence of desire is all that is needed to justify acting on it.
If you desire something or if you yourself are the object of another’s desire, make note of it – keep it in the forefront of your mind, let it drive your mind’s wanderings and daydreams, but hold off on acting on it until someone older and more responsible (a.k.a. your common sense, inner Jiminy Cricket, right-shoulder friend, etc.) shows up for the ride.
“There is no greater transgression than condoning people’s selfish desires….”
-- Lao Tzu
