How to be more resilient
How do you build resilience?
The question came up in today’s leadership meeting. We were discussing overall team morale. The general feeling of anxiety at another pending org change was acknowledged by all, but so was the inevitable nature and frequency of change within the organization.
“What can we do to help people deal better with this?”
“How can we help them to stop being worried about what’s going to happen in the future?”
“What if we bring in a speaker? I’ve heard of this guy who sailed around the world alone… it was a grueling challenge… he’s written about it. Maybe he could share his story.”
I listen. More ideas come… a class, a series of articles, role models within the organization, cubicle posters.
I go within myself and ask… how did I learn resilience? How did the other leaders at this table learn it?
From reading? From listening to a speech? From motivational posters?
No.
From hitting a proverbial wall and pushing my way through until I found the light.
From realizing in that moment that if it was to be done, it was to be done by me.
From recognizing that the only way out, was through.
And most of those moments occurred outside of an office building. Outside of a classroom. Outside of a lecture hall.
Out in the real world. Sometimes in the literal wilderness. Others, while I was a stranger in a strange land. Most, when no one else was there to encourage or support.
Some things can’t be taught.
If you aren’t intentionally placing yourself in uncomfortable, unfamiliar or undefined spaces in your real life, you probably aren’t developing the skills needed to deal with the uncomfortable, unfamiliar or undefined in your work life.
Anxiety often comes from a vague fear of what is not known. But how do you come to know the unknown if you avoid it entirely?
Spoiler alert: the truth is, you will never come to know the unknown. But after repeated tussles with the unknown, you will come to know you.
You will come to know what you are capable of, not just what you’re used to or what you’ve done successfully in the past. You will know what you look like, how you behave when there is no easy way out. You will know what it feels like to grit your teeth, hunker your shoulders down and press forward – yes, even with doubt or anger swirling around in your head, with tears stinging your eyes, with the naysayers throwing jibes at you from the sidelines, with false friends showing you the broadside of their backs.
When you come through the unknown, you will – if you have been paying attention – recognize that you are in league with the Creator.
When you come through the unknown, you will – if you have been paying attention – recognize that you are in league with the Creator.
And whatever was broken or damaged in the coming through, can be recreated again and again in whatever image you desire.
And that is resilience.
Not knowing that the sailing will be smooth or that the storm will pass soon. But knowing that from the wreckage, you have the power, the endless power to say, ‘Let there be light’.
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