5 things you should know before taking a big leap in life
If you’re preparing to take a big leap in your life or career, here are a few mindful tips to help you get your head right for the adventure ahead.
If you’re preparing to take a big leap in your life or career, here are a few mindful tips to help you get your head right for the adventure ahead.
The trick for dealing with change?
Embracing what it can teach you. This, of course, is easier than it sounds. Fear and doubt always seem to show up whenever you’re thinking of making a major life change. An endless loop of worries and worst-case scenarios play in your mind. This ‘monkey mind’ loop can keep you chasing your own thoughts down a spiral of anxiety, and ultimately, inaction. more>
Telling your own story is an essential life skill.
When you define yourself for yourself and become the writer of your own story, life’s major changes, setbacks or shifts become one-of-a-kind opportunities for you to evolve from victim to hero. more>
Taking a big leap involves risk.
A risk of failure, of looking silly, of hurting yourself. Big leaps involve stepping out into the unknown. Going off the one-size-fits-all plan. They require you to trust yourself more than you ever have. They are an exercise in faith. more>
Personal mastery is the reward for overcoming fear…
…shifting your mindset from ‘one-size-fits-all’ and taking worthwhile risks.
It all starts with the small, everyday habits and behaviors you practice BEFORE you take a big leap, make a major life change or face an unexpected life challenge. Until you ‘get your mind right’, your potential for growth and self-mastery will be limited. more>
Your work and relationships are a reflection of what you think of yourself.
As you evolve, the way you relate to your job and to the people in your life - family, friends, significant other - will evolve too. At some point, you may feel the need to graduate. This can be a literal leaving behind or a ‘leveling up’ of the way you engage and the effort and energy you give to these experiences.
IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR FUTURE
CHANGE YOUR STORY.
Write your next chapter with a story-based strategic framework that evolves as you do.
the trick for dealing with change
You wanna know my surefire trick for dealing with change? Here’s a hint: It involves using your imagination.
First, select your destination.
Feeling stuck? Ready to make a big leap? In preparation for this ‘season of shift’, I’ve compiled a short series of audio recordings to help set the tone and get myself (and you!) ready to make the most of this time.
Where do you want to go?
What’s the biggest / most important goal you have right now?
Who do you want to be when you grow up?
These are big questions. Questions we tend to ask ourselves at times like this. Transition times. Times of shift or change.
So, if you’re like me, you’ve been asking yourself these questions lately. But you may be finding it hard to come up with the answers.
Not because the answers are hard, but because they are overwhelming. The options are so many, the potential for messing up so great, the lack of clarity on how to get from here to there is surprisingly intimidating.
““I want to get there,” you think.
“But I don’t want to bumble around in the dark, tripping over my feet and looking awkward. I just want to arrive at my destination...”
“...as soon as I can figure out exactly where it is that I’m going.”
“I just know I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m ready... but for what? Where?””
Look. I’ve been there. In a state of wanting to go, but not knowing where to go, so choosing to stay put despite the current circumstances not being ideal.
You know what that’s called?
Inertia.
Aka, stuck.
But, the universe has a way of nudging us forward.
And now - at least according to those of us who study astrology - is one of those times that the universe is about to give all of us a big nudge.
In preparation for this ‘season of shift’, I’ve compiled a short series of audio recordings to help set the tone and get myself (and you!) ready to make the most of this time.
{ Listen to the first audio recording now }
These audio clips can be listened to while sitting quietly sipping your morning coffee, taking a walk or folding the laundry. Listen to them all in one sitting or over the next couple of days.
Audio 1: Leaving Somewhere Is Not Going Somewhere
Audio 2: So What’s The Big Deal With Dec 21, 2020?
Audio 3: The 2 Things You MUST Have Before Making A Major Life Change
Audio 4: Self-Development As Magic
Consider them your boarding pass as we begin the journey into a new season, a new year and a new age... the so-called ‘age of Aquarius’.
Boarding starts soon.
Issue my boarding pass!
Enter your email address to get your pass. Get instant access to the audio series. And get ready to make a big shift.
How to be more resilient
If you aren’t intentionally placing yourself in uncomfortable, unfamiliar or undefined spaces in your real life, you probably aren’t developing the skills needed to deal with the uncomfortable, unfamiliar or undefined in your work life.
How do you build resilience?
The question came up in today’s leadership meeting. We were discussing overall team morale. The general feeling of anxiety at another pending org change was acknowledged by all, but so was the inevitable nature and frequency of change within the organization.
“What can we do to help people deal better with this?”
“How can we help them to stop being worried about what’s going to happen in the future?”
“What if we bring in a speaker? I’ve heard of this guy who sailed around the world alone… it was a grueling challenge… he’s written about it. Maybe he could share his story.”
I listen. More ideas come… a class, a series of articles, role models within the organization, cubicle posters.
I go within myself and ask… how did I learn resilience? How did the other leaders at this table learn it?
From reading? From listening to a speech? From motivational posters?
No.
From hitting a proverbial wall and pushing my way through until I found the light.
From realizing in that moment that if it was to be done, it was to be done by me.
From recognizing that the only way out, was through.
And most of those moments occurred outside of an office building. Outside of a classroom. Outside of a lecture hall.
Out in the real world. Sometimes in the literal wilderness. Others, while I was a stranger in a strange land. Most, when no one else was there to encourage or support.
Some things can’t be taught.
If you aren’t intentionally placing yourself in uncomfortable, unfamiliar or undefined spaces in your real life, you probably aren’t developing the skills needed to deal with the uncomfortable, unfamiliar or undefined in your work life.
Anxiety often comes from a vague fear of what is not known. But how do you come to know the unknown if you avoid it entirely?
Spoiler alert: the truth is, you will never come to know the unknown. But after repeated tussles with the unknown, you will come to know you.
You will come to know what you are capable of, not just what you’re used to or what you’ve done successfully in the past. You will know what you look like, how you behave when there is no easy way out. You will know what it feels like to grit your teeth, hunker your shoulders down and press forward – yes, even with doubt or anger swirling around in your head, with tears stinging your eyes, with the naysayers throwing jibes at you from the sidelines, with false friends showing you the broadside of their backs.
When you come through the unknown, you will – if you have been paying attention – recognize that you are in league with the Creator.
When you come through the unknown, you will – if you have been paying attention – recognize that you are in league with the Creator.
And whatever was broken or damaged in the coming through, can be recreated again and again in whatever image you desire.
And that is resilience.
Not knowing that the sailing will be smooth or that the storm will pass soon. But knowing that from the wreckage, you have the power, the endless power to say, ‘Let there be light’.
Looking for proven ways to build greater resilience?
I’ve put together a Resilience Resource Guide - a collection of advice, exercises and motivational content gathered from top researchers and experts in psychology and alternative wellness.
It’s 100% FREE and available for immediate download.
Get yours below!
This year is f***in' hard.
Dear black woman: you’re gonna make it, sis.
This year is f***in’ hard. And we’ve still got a ways left to go.
I swear, it seems like each week of this year has started off like an epic, emotional, unpredictable adventure that brings victory coupled with loss. Severs old ties to fertilize new ground. Makes you get rid of yet another old comfort so you can grow yet another new branch for yourself.
I can barely get my bearing from the last tidal wave of WTF, before a new one starts charging right at me.
It’s a tough time, but it is also a potent time. This swirling energy that’s upsetting so much normalcy is also charged with possibility. With manifest-making magic. You are knee-deep in it, and if you can just keep focus, engage your core, not get swept away in the current, you can make things happen that you only imagined before. And they will come fast, hard, and unexpected. And they will last.
So be very intentional about what you are creating and calling forth now. With the relationships you begin and end. About how you are entering into contracts, projects, relationships. What is created now will not be easily undone.
And if you have not been focused on creating, if you have just been being tossed about or holding your little piece of normal ground with your head tucked down, that won’t do any longer.
It’s time to make the most of the rest of this year.
Kisha Solomon is an Atlanta-based writer, knowledge worker and serial expat. She is also the founder of The Good Woman School. When she’s not writing, working or travelling, you can find her in deep conversation with herself or her four-legged familiar, Taurus the Cat. www.lifeworktravels.com
a conversation before takeoff
Flying a Kuwaiti airline from Spain to Greece. I find it somewhat comforting that the airline plays an Arabic prayer over the PA system before takeoff. I always say a small prayer before any major travel... for protection, for smooth arrival, for the flight crew, for new insights... and Arabic prayers are like musical meditations to me. My seatmate, a young Gaditano, reveals to me later that he (and i think everyone else on board) was freaked out when it started playing.
”Is this some kinda joke? Are we about to end up in Egypt or the Middle East?” he says.
We laugh about it. I assure him that the prayer is common for airlines based in Muslim countries. “Ahhhh!” he says. Its his first time traveling out of the country. I smile broadly and congratulate him.
“It’s good to travel. You have to travel a lot, especially while you’re young. Its like an education.”
He looks genuinely confused by that statement. '“Como?” he inquires.
“Well...” I say, (while thinking to myself, ‘Bruh. Didn’t you just learn something? And we ain’t even off the ground yet!’) “How do i know what I’ve been told about the world is true unless i go out and see for myself? Go to new places and learn about the people there, their language, their food, their music. Their... prayers?”
A light is slowly dawning in him. He tells me that he’s studying psychology. That he also plays flamenco guitar. He shows me a video of him playing. He’s good. And he has a smoldering intensity for someone so young. “But flamenco isn’t valued much in Spain,” he tells me.
”Ah, cuz there’s lots of people who can play?”
Yep.
”Well, that’s even more reason to travel. People love flamenco outside of Spain, but they usually can’t hear or see it live where they are. In my country, se flippan!”
He stops and repeats what I said, then cracks up laughing at my use of the colloquialism. We continue talking, I tell him he should try to find other musicians on social media who play similar music or who would like to learn more about flamenco. Invite them to come crash at your place if you have extra room, offer to teach the something about flamenco and ask if they’d be willing to do the same for you when you visit their countries. Ask if they would mind introducing you to their network of other musicians and music learners. Post videos of you playing on your Instagram, Facebook, etc. Use what you know to take you where you want to go.
He ponders this for a few moments.
“That idea would never have occurred to me,” he muses aloud. “It’s like you said, you learn things when you travel and talk to other people who have experienced a lot.”
I nod. This sobrino is starting to get it. I pray that he does.
2 weeks notice
I pretty much began to consider leaving my job, oh…about 26 minutes after I started working here. But I decided that it’d be better to stick it out and see what I could get out of the place before I made my resume look like I have ADD. Anyway, a recent series of fortunate events have opened up an opportunity for me to work in (what I hope will be) greener pastures, so I’ve finally made the decision to switch plantat…er, i mean jump ship.
The problem with the whole 2-week notice thing is that once you let everyone know that you’re a short-timer, you’re immediately seized by this listless, languorous feeling that is a direct side effect of knowing that you’re no longer on the hook to perform, just to show up. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s awfully hard to keep up the façade of being a hard worker, when you know nobody cares anyway.
Well, tomorrow is officially my last day, so on this, the eve of my departure, I’ve decided to take some time to reflect on the last 10 days . Read: I’ve pretty much run out of other ways to goof off. 😀
Day 10
• In keeping with the 2-week protocol, today I informed exactly 6 people – my boss, the HR lady, and 4 of my regular lunch / water-cooler buddies – of my decision.
• My boss lets me know that, after tomorrow, he’ll be out of the office for the next 2 weeks. I am convinced I’m being rewarded for some good deed in a former life.
• For the rest of the day I traipse around the office like Michael J. Fox in that montage from ‘Secret of My Success’ where ‘Walking on Sunshine’ is playing in the background.
Day 9, I mean 8
• About 5 minutes after I get to my desk this morning, my boss stops by and asks if he can speak to me in private. He does so in a tone that would have me fearing for my job, if I hadn’t already quit. In the ensuing conversation, he basically asks me if I could quit a day early. I can’t disclose his reason for asking here, but suffice it to say, the whole exchange reaffirms that my decision to leave this gig couldn’t have come at a better time.
• Today, no less than 20 people know about my imminent departure – none of them heard the news from me. It’s an interesting affirmation of the power of viral marketing, to say the least.
Day 7
• Given yesterday’s exchange with my boss, I have an even worse taste in my mouth about this place. I spend a significant amount of time brooding on all the reasons I loathe it.
The lady that sits directly on the other side of my cube burps. Loudly – and often. She’s also prone to whinnying like a horse for no apparent reason.
The gentleman that sits behind the gassy woman has frequent bouts of upper respiratory congestion. He clears it out by coughing loud enough to wake the dead and then spits the results into his trashcan.
The vending machine contains 3 types of skittles. The damned red bag is always in front- I hate the red bag.
We use Lotus Notes for email (I feel dirty just admitting that).
The PMO – my own personal Gestapo 🙂
On all of my projects and in almost all of my meetings, I am the only African-American. Out of maybe 15 offices in the building, 2 are occupied by females. There are roughly 12 people in the building that hold Director-level or above positions – none are minorities, none are female. Can we say: glass ceiling?
To celebrate individuals who’ve made ‘significant contributions’, the company rewards them with – drum roll please – a Lego block.
Day 6
• I take small pleasure in the fact that I no longer have to slip my copy of “The 4-Hour Workweek” into my desk drawer for fear that somebody might read one of the sensational, subversive statements on the cover, like: “Warning: Don’t read this book unless you want to quit your job”
• I officially inform all of the project teams that I manage that I’m leaving. I also inform them that I will not be in the office tomorrow. The development manager looks like I just peed on her sock.
• Other people are starting to look at me like the little green aliens from Toy Story – like I’ve been chosen by…’THE CLAAAAW’!
Day 5
• I am not thinking of my (new or old) job. I am on vacation.
Day 4
• Despite my most gallant efforts, I can’t seem to get to work any earlier than 10:45 am.
• My major to-do’s today are a 1 o’clock meeting and clearing off my desk décor, which consists of:
Two framed pages full of quotes from Lao Tzu and Buddha
A small transparent glass globe / paperweight with the word ‘wisdom’ affixed to the back
Another frame with a story from Winnie the pooh that I use to remind me not to take my job too seriously.
Three post-its with the following hand-written self-reminders:
Travel Light, Live Light, Spread Light, Be the Light
A Clean Desk is the Sign of a Sick Mind
Chickens Aren’t Eagles
A flurry of papers and folders that could be deposited into the trash bin with one sweep of my hand
Day 3
• Today I managed to make it in by 10am. However, I don’t see any point in staying past 4pm.
• Everything between 10 and 4 is a complete and total blank…. I’m not even sure I showed up today – maybe it was a very vivid dream.
Day 2
• Today’s major to-do: Compose my official farewell email to send off to all the people I’ve worked with over the last year and 10 months.
Day 1
• Today my boss called me from his vacation / surgery recuperation to see if I could track down the source of some gross mis-communication about one of the projects I’m working on. Um yeeah, I’m all over that one…LOL!
• The offshore QA liaison on one of my projects asked me in a half-panicked voice: ‘So you’re not going to be at the meeting on Monday?’ I now have a vague understanding of how weaning mothers must feel.
Day 0 (daaaaayyy-ohhh. daylight come and me waaaan go home…. sorry, couldn’t resist)
• Highlights of the day include: the going-away luncheon, the exit interview, and the surrendering of company materials. It’s my busiest day this week!